*Dork was thinking about coming down to LA to visit Tone and Alli. He's still on the fence about that because of cash, but I'm reading the first chapter of his new novel anyway--just in case we need more fodder than the usual artsy life noir shit.

*I still want to travel up to Santa Cruz for a vision quest. I need to clear my head and re-connect, to scoop out and sandblast these annoying nightmares that fancy themselves mental hangnails.

*Way off in the distant future, around Thanksgiving and/or Christmas, I'm going to drive from Madison to Detroit and hang with Dork. I figure he's family, he's relatively close, and he doesn't get belligerently drunk and wonder if living with two women would make me a mama's boy. To his credit, though, it was funny as all hell when Great Uncle Jack did say that way back when at the dinner table.

*The one I'm looking forward to the most right now, though, is having T visit me in California for a week or two. Right now I'm waiting for confirmation for a good set of dates. Given that her phone gets wonky half the time, I'm doleing out patience on that count. I have faith, though, that we'll get an arrangement and tickets down before the contractors start to go to town on this house in 2 months.

Someone mentioned today that I don't do much personal reflection here anymore. I suppose he's right. Either I've already worked stuff out in my head or it doesn't seem important enough.

Not much to reflect on at the moment, I'd say, since almost all of my problems have solved themselves. For instance, my Ma and Gran helped me send in a security deposit and parking fee for the apartment I want to rent. All I need now is about 800 bucks for two months of rent--and your donations have been helping on that end. I figure the rest will come in one way or another.

The only actual problems I have are: 1) How to move my stuff to Madison. 2) What to research at Dr. Crisco's lab when I get there. I still have months to figure these out, though, so they're distant rubix cubes to shuffle around idly.

By all accounts, then, I should feel very happy..and I do sometimes. Yet, sitting through a good movie or having an excellent meal, I can't help but feel that something is off. I'm used to feeling on-edge by now; I recognize that's part of my ADD/ADHD. But this is different, inexplicable--kindof annoying.

Dreams might be the answer, maybe?

Well, I had a nightmare a few days back about ludicrously fat mad scientist types, who were pumping out huge amounts of molten metal, not minding that it was splashing out of a chute near some of them and coating their legs and stomachs. Somehow this involved Bo and Liz, my friends from college. I think I needed to do something or convince people of something, but somehow I couldn't.

Molten metal does figure into some of my visions, like the one I sometimes get of the silver-faced man wearing a green cloak and hood. Seems to be associated with disquiet.

Well, guess that sorta confirms things, but doesn't explain it.

Maybe it's just regular worrying. I don't know.

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