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Long days, long hours, much work 2004-10-02 - 9:42 p.m. 
Yesterday I spent more than 11 hours doing the first part of my statistics homework. I had forgotten that the 'first year project' for the second year graduate students was that day. I had told Sara I would see her talk. I had forgotten, though, staying in bed and thinking about T while consciousness wavered back and forth. I remembered after showering and eating and got there by noon. I deceptively told her my alarm hadn't gone off--and indeed it had not, for I never turned it on. She did not seem to mind at all and touched my arm to emphasize this point. She is a very kind woman, a good colleague to have in the lab.The rest of the day was numbers, numbers and equations and semi-dark rooms of not seeing anyone else for hours at a time. Today I pushed forward earlier and got in another 7 hours in the stats. lab before 6:00pm. I had rushed through my usual lunch burrito at Chipotle to get there before noon. The streets were lined with red once more, all in a slow smile shuffle toward whatever one does after football games. I got in at 11:30am, slid into the lab and did not leave the building until 6:30pm. I only saw two people once around 4. From then on it was dinner, then trying a new coffee place to see if it suited me. I began re-reading my five 'emotions and the brain' articles for the now third time, trying to come up with clever ideas for the 2nd paper question -- "Describe two novel psychological insights you've gleaned from the articles on [emotion and the brain]". Truth be told I can't think of anything earth-shatteringly original. All that comes to mind is what seems obvious, and so I'm prepared to focus my attention on those obvious questions and get the paper done with. It isn't graded. It's 2 pages. I still want to come up with something more insightful, though--but perhaps what I think of as dull will be seen as insightful. I can't say. My DSL connection is down again. My wireless connection is not at all stable. I waited three times for the 'wireless' wireless network to come back in order to post this. I haven't the time to write anyone, nor IM, nor even call T at the new number she gave me. The last few days have been incredibly isolating and I miss people. I don't feel vaguely melancholic and tired, but with enough energy to work until 12:30am. Tomorrow I'll continue to do research on and write the paper--then possibly start reading the 60 pages of emotions class readings. We've got a double class this week, you see, since last week's class had to be postponed. Reading the new readings is on the bottom of the priorities list right now. I'm not quite done with my statistics homework, but just nearly. So far it's 25 pages long. Should be 27 or 28 when I'm done. Question 1 took 16 pages to write, mostly lots of hand-calculated equations for specific tests you do. Through all of this, though, I only feel a small bit of frustration. It does hurt, but it has been far, far worse in the past. I'm relatively ok right now. Back to the paper. |
