After that we met up with the regular group, sent out another batch to get their food on, with the rest of us making conversation. Katie and I talked about working with monkeys, some of our past experiences with labs, stuff like that. Later on, her, myself, and the never-went-to-class-much black sheep dude Scott talked about grad school, fellowships, etc. It was the type of talk you hear around those overachievers in high school, weighing their approach here, there. Mostly we focused on the NSF grant we'd either just turned in or had done in the past. They made it sound much more..complicated than I thought it was. My main strength is theory and design, though..and the writing is usually easy. I do it all the time, after all.

I also didn't have to pay for my drink. I guess someone's credit card felt spontaneous.

Our next stop was the Badger Hole, a new Irish pub with wall to wall people festooned everywhere. Saturdays were good at the city square like that. I decided not to drink anything. For some reason the mood shifted there. I'd had a grand time at the last two places..but as the alcohol wore off I wondered why the hell I was still there. People laughed, chatted, carried on. Dan and Katie were doing their couples cutsie thing, but not in a gaggin' way. Xtian sat to the left of me, occasionally dipping into conversation but stayin' quiet. Lindsay and Tat were across from us. Caroline and her husband were over to the right of me and being quite sociable.

Why I relate all of this positioning to you, I don't know.

After awhile I really wanted to leave. At this point I changed positions so that Xtian could talk more (he said not to bother, but I knew he wanted to talk more and he was hemmed in). Tat and Lindsay had gone off to get drinks/hit on guys, so the group got pretty close. I tried enjoying myself, but I kept thinking back to the Molasses CD I'd picked up. I wanted to hear 'Old Poe'. I needed a dirge like that all of the sudden. The loss of the semester came to me as a clear vision. This all-consuming thing was...gone, and celebration no longer seemed. Applicable.

I'd stayed for one reason: to drive Lindsay and Xtian to Lindsay's car. She'd already agreed to drive Xtian to this holiday bash his brother was having. Tat thought that was a good idea and tagged along. I waited for them outside as they said their goodbyes (the ladies to their prospective gents, Xtian to the bar and his friends). He'd look at me from inside and raise his finger. I'd nod. The night hung on my breath, cold and full, white. I remember a huge black limo bus thing filled with laughing middle-aged and older folk. The bald indian driver with glasses looked at me very curiously. I very curiously looked back. Eventually he drove away and I began to guide the three drunken misfits back to my apartment complex.

Lindsay was shivering like a leaf and kept asking how much farther it was--not annoyingly, but all cute-like. Eventually I got 'em all into the Buick beast, drove them over to the psych building (where she'd park). Everyone kept thanking me for driving them. Repeatedly. I did not understand this, but I smiled and said no problem and all that. Someone was behind me in the lot, trying to get out, so everyone had to get out quickly. They waved and smiled. I waved and smiled. We all exchanged fleeting yells of good breaks and great holidays. I pulled left, leaving them to go to the holiday party.

I drove back home and popped in the Molasses CD. I cried as 'Old Poe' dripped out...and I said goodbye to the semester.

The very next day, I smiled to myself and decided to pick up 'Bloodlines', the latest RPG installment from Troika set within the White Wolf universe. I loves me the gothic whatnot. Had life been slightly different, with me nudging it up with a more club-oriented crowd, I would have enjoyed the underground scene. As is, only conventional reigns in the sin parlors of Insanity, Wisconsin.

I'm biding my time until Nicholas calls me to give me the go-ahead. I've heard from Caribbean J that he's doing alright, which is certainly a comfort. It'll be fantastic to finally meet J, her man and my friend T, and to see all the familiar faces of Detroit. I don't know why I love that city. It's all a clear haze: Belle and Sebastian playing in the early morning; late night romping around the rouge plant and the no-nonsense but still baffled security guards; all of my time centered around art.

Art. I miss pursuing mine, and that's just another thread in the weave of why I'm so excited to go.

Besides playing Bloodlines, though, I've been chill and doing little for the last two days. I did finally get creditentialed (again) from heir voluntary but not voluntary national animal training organization. Wasn't too bad, made me feel responsible and shit to get it done.

I also got to become reacquainted with Fuckie last night. She's artsy folk people like my ass, doing such badass things as wood-carvings and lithographs. It'd been months upon months since I'd seen her online. We ended up talking until 6:30am, with her snagging a 30 minute nap before work. I was concerned that I'd eaten away all her sleep time, but she said it'd be great fun. And it had; don't often get into those conversations.

I awoke from my sleeping bag and comforter womb around 12:00..then promptly buggered back to sleep until 12:45. Lunch was good over at the Q. I kinda wish this town had some decent italian food, but what can a guy do?

Today I want to try to motivate myself to stop by the giant shopping complex 15 minutes east of town. Mostly I want to buy some new lithium batteries for my cam--but there is the alluring prospect of getting long-johns that fit.

Don't know how I mistakenly read 34 for 36, but eh.

When I'm over at Nicholas' I won't have web access, so if I don't post again before then: I hope your channukah/hannuaka/jannuchachaweeboweezle , Kwanaza, unbirthday and Christ fiesta day were/are awesome.

Peace and platanos.

EDIT: I forgot to add this snippet. I received an email from the TA just yesterday. I aced the final by a decent margin. I only needed an 84% on it to keep my A. This'll be the first semester where it's been all A's. It's good that I achieved my goal. I'm sure it'll look nice on grant apps., but there's more of an inner satisfaction to it.

I worked my ass off all semester, after all--and it's a pleasant reward.

previous - next