Today sucked;

The morning breakfast at the med. cafe did not. I felt energized and in a good state of things when the first class came. Here I thought this'd be more clear than the last one, like people seemed to enjoy telling me. Don't know what off-ramp they got on, but I could tell this was going to be a long semester in that class. I re-read my notes an hour or two ago--taking an hour, maybe two--to decipher the main point and all the little extras you're expected to intuit. I will say one thing: the instructor needs clarity like an alcoholic needs good liver.

Confused and not amused, more pissed really, I waited 20 minutes and waded through the empty lecture hall, waiting for gigantic schools of undergrads to perch on any and every seat. I sat on the end and got up 3-4 times while lecture started. See, I wasn't sure how far away my 3rd class was, but I coulda sworn it was around the medical center..which meant bus-hopping and figuring my way around that nth story monstrosity.

We covered the primate phylums, finding out that, indeed, we have more in common with monkeys than prosims. like the lemur. I like my advisor's class. The material is fine for me, I don't have to worry about tests, and I like the subject. Hell I work with the subject, I should like it.

I skipped out the last few minutes to beat feet to a bus-stop up on top of a hill, waiting for the bus to come around. I packed in, waited, packed out, then went about and up to the 6th floor of the clinical building. Trouble was, not the right building. I checked the schedule again. Yup, not right, so said the kind, older receptionist lady person. She wasn't sure what building I wanted. Thankfully, descending down the elevator, two younger women smiled and mentioned the few ways I could get there--like the bus they were taking. I sensed a movie or sitcom moment where I'm supposed to magically bond because of an odd circumstance. Meh. I shot to the van, got in, and waited.

Imagine my surprise as the prof. for the brain damage class was already in there, though he didn't know me at the time. We slugged through slush and sleet to meet the old med. building--which as fate and a very, very ironic god would have it is almost next door to where my first two classes are.

Yay for me in the future.

The 3rd class had 7 people. 3 hadn't shown up. Guess it'd almost been 4 (i.e. me). This wasn't a molecular-level lecture class at all. No, it was a seminar class with a HEAVY (50% of your grade heavy) emphasis on active discussion of the reading material. We're also expected to do a 40 min presentation on a class topic, then co-lead discussion one day out of the semester. There's also a 10-12 page paper on a topic of our choice. It's a review paper that, "if good enough", could be submitted for publication. My own area--immune inflammation proteins that jack you the fuck up and seem to be related to mental disorders--ain't huge and I covered a decent swath of it in the emotions class last semester. I'll probably end up doing that.

The mini-lecture we got today also wasn't bad. I'd missed thinking like a neuroscientist. Kinda prefer it in some ways, since by definition it's gotta be biologically oriented.

I also signed up for the class topic on mechanisms that cause brain inflammation (which are the same proteins which 'jack you the fuck up', ergo yay for me). Trouble was I wasn't sure what date to pick, so I put TBA. Now, I guess I musta assumed at the time that alot of people just wouldn't know what to do and would figure it out later. Well I was wrong. It wasn't until after class, talking with the prof. extensively, leaving to go to the lab, and sitting down did I realize it:

I had 2nd crack at a time, blew off the opportunity, and could very well be stuck doing a presentation 1-2 weeks from now.

Well that pretty much threw me into a self-hating panic. I couldn't believe I'd been that fucking stupid. I mean when I do stupid shit I do stupid shit, but this just seemed like the cake to me. I sent an email to the prof. saying I hadn't picked a topic so I could see when certain "professional obligations" of mine were starting. I was half expecting to get the shit end of the stick for my oversight. Instead, I found a decent date left open on the 7th of April. One month after my stats midterm, one month before my stats final and term paper for the brain damage class.

So I got to calm down.

Still, I've felt shitty since stats this morning. I went to open mic night expecting to see some others there. But, like a few times before, I was the only son of a bitch. And man/woman/alien/antelope, it don't feel too fine to be sitting at a full table for a half hour. Finally left a half hour ago after the only decent act of the night.

It's too late to get much out of a D. Bros. trip, so I'll stay here and read my stats. book. For some reason I vaguely feel sad with a touch of loneliness. Must be the 'noone showing up but me' thing. Nirvana and sleep will pack all woes on ice.

Yeah, 90's alternative be the good ol' days.

Fuck I'm sick of the stupidity.

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