I was sitting there, barstool and ass commiserating, back slightly bent while I looked over my presentation for thursday. The Espresso cafe was (and still is) packed.

And suddenly out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement. I looked over. There was a giant ant starring at me. Starring. At. Me. It was 1/2 to 3/4's of an inch long, but its head was huge. This was a general ant, not just a soldier.

It gave me a look that seemed to say, "You! Get me some liquor and bitches!"

We then had a thought conversation:

Me: "Wow..you're a big ant."

Ant: "Well hell fucking yes I am, pink boy. Now go get me some something something."

Me: "I'm going to blow you off of the table now because you make me feel weird."

Ant: "Fuck you! Do not make me walk over there and reshape yo' ass with this mandibles! I will fuck you the fuck up!"

Me: "Yeah, I'm definetely gonna blow you off.."

Ant: "Aw shit, you dropped the b-bomb, you punk ass mu--"

I blew hard. He flew. And far away a voice echoed: "Oh snap, I am gonna climb all the way up this table leg with my giant head--but as soon as I'm back on that desk, it's yo ass, bitch."

I moved to a free table 10 minutes later. The chair is comfy.

I'm going to read more articles now.

I promise a real update soon.

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