Today. Describing why today was wrong would take far too long. I will give a synopsis:

*I got to the lab at 11:30. I left at 7:30. In this time, I ran another monkey in my experiment. Articulating what I did wrong and why it bothers me is irrelevant, suffice it to say that I keep fucking up on one detail or another. Feeling like you're being incompetent doesn't make things better, but the siren song in my head only fades away long enough to be replaced by some other murmuring chatter.

*I forgot to turn in my TA sheet on time. Sure, it said to turn it in by friday. Sure, I left myself several notes to do so. Unfortunately when you're in the thick of an experiment that takes 3 hrs. and about 1 1/2 hours of prep. and end time, you lose track of stupid bureaucratic shit. I sent a note to the coordinator saying I was taking care of a sick monkey all day--which is somewhat truthful, if overblown. Hopefully this latest deadline on the latest form was only a scare tactic. I don't fancy teaching intro. stats. as my first Teaching Assistant gig.

*I forgot X, Y, Z, H, and W. Among these was the i-mac laptop that has an arcaic program used for scoring monkey behavior. Reason? You guessed it: running an experiment tends to occupy one's mind. Naturally I remembered this right after I'd remembered to get Dr. C to sign off on my TA form--and right after Dr. C left for the day at 7:15. Right as I was smacking myself in my head, feeling like an incompetent fool, and looking for campus security numbers, I heard a voice outside. I briskly raced to the hall, flagged down the security guy, got him to open up the room with the behavior scoring laptop, and got it to my office.

Now I can get back to my original plan of spending 5-6 hours this weekend scoring monkey behavior, as opposed to sheepishly telling my advisor that I couldn't do what I said I would because I forgot something.

I've been forgetting alot of objects lately. I'm not good with objects or the physical world. Never made sense to me and I doubt that'll change.

*This review paper will not die. I've tried several times. It's nearly dead, but not dead. This weekend I need to finish it, the last leg of my stats project, and score that monkey behavior.

*I then have from part of the weekend to thursday to make a 30 min. presentation on the review paper for my Brain Damage class. I'm not sweating this much. We can do white backgrounds in Powerporn with no fancy graphics. I can also talk about "future directions" in my field like an auctioneer with tourette's syndrome.

But you have to realize: 6 hours of monday, a few hours of wednesday, and a few hours of friday are taken up by my experiment. Now I loves me my experiment; that is my goddamn child. However, it is kinda sorta ok really incredibly muchly getting in the way. But I should be able to micromanage. I'm only a graduate student with severe attention deficit problems and a compulsion to competely overdo things. No problem.

*There is more shit. At the beginning of the week after next, I've got another presentation. This time I need to do some fancy graphics shit. Sure I know my material inside, out, sideways, and out of my ass, but I don't enjoy the idea of figuring out the intricacies of Powerporn to make pretty flow diagrams.

Not to mention the fact that we're getting a take-home final from our stats class this coming thursday. Oh that's gonna be a fucking gem. Thank God or whatever else you'd like that it's due May 10th. I can do a take-home final in..5 days, sure. Maybe. Hopefully. There's no fucking question Maegan and I are going to collaborate. I just hope she starts when I do. I've been paying attention for the last several weeks, but not enough so that I feel really comfortable with the material.

Take-home finals are take-home for a reason, however. Bless the prof. for not giving an in-class one.

*There's entirely too much fucking stuff to do, and sadly no attractive creatures of choice and circumstances to take my mind away.

*All of this said, I ain't gonna be around much for the next...two weeks. Maybe longer. Ok probably slightly longer.

*999 entries. My 1,000th may just be something dumb. May just be.

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