Still no Detroit update, but I need to pen mind juices onto keyboard.

So part way through the vacation, I sent off forms for fellowship reference letters. These gives my profs something to fill out in terms of recommending that I get other people's money. I took care of that, some other fellowship business, and promptly stopped giving a damn when I dropped off a mess of things in the mail and paid 80 bucks for the privilege.

When I got back, of course, I hopped into taking care of some Teaching Assistant stuff and working at the APA fellowship. That's the one where all the shit is due at once--essays, recommendation letters, application form, etc.

I polished off the essays back on sunday and monday. The APA asked more or less the same types of questions the Fjord people did. I just had to mix and match different Fjord essays, distill it with some new content, add some water...and boom--refried essays. They're good, I think. Thank God Brad can help me with them. He's the dude who taught the cognitive neuroscience seminar--the one who pushed me to write a really good essay instead of just a review. He's 'happy' to help, which is great because I otherwise only have friends or colleagues who could help. Bryan says he'll take a look too. I figure I could ask Hill, but she's got med school shit to worry about.

I also wrote a one page "verification" essay today. It wanted me to summarize my next 3 years. I blew that wad in 30 minutes, and it reads decent.

The most annoying part about this whole process is the sheer amount of lazy idiocy on the part of APA. Nothing is electronic, the due date for materials isn't a postmark date but when they actually expect the shit to be in the office...and the due date is on a sunday.

I ask you: is a government funded organization going to have an employee around on sunday? Exactly.

So I need to get these essays reviewed, make sure I can strong-arm our resident grad coordinator to get me a copy of my GRE scores (even if I ordered some to be sent by the company today), and hound the profs about emailing the reference letters. It's just been aggravating to keep track of it all.

The only part I'm genuinely worried about are the reference letters. I'll absolutely scream in a bloody rage at my advisor if he didn't send it before he went on vacation (since he's gone through the due date for the APA one). Dr. Zhivago already sent his allegedly, which is pretty cool. I haven't heard from Al in awhile, though I sent him the form and an email about the form. I'll call him tomorrow and annoy him. I can only hope he didn't decide to go on vacation. That'd absolutely deep-six me, since Richie went on vacation and he'd forgotten about this fellowship (though thankfully not the other one).

Besides those things (which'll be in the past by the 15th and 18th deadlines), I've also been making more graphs for my first year project. I was majorly stressing out about it and writing it up as a manuscript for a journal..and then I realized that I could tackle it one experiment at a time. That sorta helped. And eating always makes me feel sane again. Today I just snapped for a little while, being engaged in bizarre thought patterns that I'd rather not describe. They just suck.

Hill's xmas gift finally arrived in the mail. I've never seen Tungsten Falls 01 framed. One of these years I should pimp it out to some restaurants around here. I got her the fantabulously bizarre Neo-Habitat.

Speaking of which, she's still keen on reading this thing. I haven't made too much of a raging ass out of myself where writing about her is concerned, so I figure what the hell. I get the feeling I won't be able to vent in case anything horrific happens--but surprisingly nothing has. She's playful in the way she pokes me or traipses about this or that button, not in a mean way but just because she enjoys giving me shit sometimes. And it's kinda..fun being able to give it back and not worry that it'll be taken the wrong way, or shatter a fragile ego, or anything else. I'm used to walking on eggshells when it comes to stuff like that, and with her, metaphorically speaking, she can take a punch--and dish it out.

In a lot of ways she's like the girlfriend I always hoped to find. She calls me on shit that doesn't make sense, speaks her mind and has an opinion, knows when to back off if I'm stressed out or need some comfort, likes to hang out and do stuff, has the same fetish for the darker things in life like I do. Really she's quickly become one of my closest friends. Where I'd been worried that things would keep progressing into dangerous territory, we have this stable dynamic. It's just..nice to snuggle with someone, or do something for them and not worry about it. Yeah, I'd worried I'd do something stupid like start getting too attached, but I'm fine. I'll give her the late xmas gifts on friday and we'll probably watch a movie at her place or mine.

Some time this week Bryan and I are also supposed to hang out. On the second e-mail he sent he, naturally, asked if I'd had sex yet and some other amusing shit he says just to be Bryan. I missed the guy so it'll be fun. I'm guessing we'll shoot stick and/or see a movie, maybe one of the ones I haven't gotten a chance to see yet.

If this is reading completely banal, that's my mood. Can't be arsed to be creative.

And last but not least, there's more photography stuff coming soon. Some of my best pieces, I think. You'll like 'em.

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