We spent the bulk of our time up in that place, and me wading through a decent set of piles and hanging gardens o' fabric. Having two people pick out stuff for you and trying it on is a work out. My hip was out of place today, so I had to be careful moving; made some stuff painful.

I came away with some decent stuff. Hill had texted that I should call her as soon as I was done, and to make sure I didn't take the tags off of anything. She wanted to approve, which I thought was a good idea.

After the first leg of our journey we stopped at the food court. The two of them had mini-sandwich things from McDonalds, while I drank a large thing of strawberry julius. I loved those things as a kid.

Then it was another hour or two spent at the good will. I'd never gone and again I wondered why we didn't hit urban outfitters or something else (since I'm saving the Gap with Hill). But we shuffled through just about every men's t-shirt there was. Most of the stuff we found that I thought was acceptable was pretty high quality.

26 bucks for 8 shirts from respectable brand names. Cool.

I thanked Tat and Brian and left off to my apartment.

I was exhausted and my hip was bothering me more. Usually I can adjust or massage it back into place, but it's been acting up all day.

I called Hill like she asked. I'd thought she wanted me to call to arrange or schedule a viewing session with the clothes, or perhaps to ask where we'd gone. And she did ask. So I said JC Penny. She didn't sound approving, but asked what I got. I was about to say a couple of jeans, some shirts, but she wanted me to take out the jeans and tell her the brand, the cuts, etc.

I was caught off-guard. She'd said she wanted to look at stuff, so then I thought why ask over the phone? I was (and still am) burnt out by the day, so I said fine sure whatever. It occurred to me I might have sounded stand-offish, but I was tired and I didn't bother masking it. We went through the first set of stuff in this fashion. I thought she'd made a comment about me sounding pissy. I guess it was a combination of being tired and just wanting to relax, that and she didn't sound excited so much as disapproving.

I mentioned the second stop, the good will, in a quick sentence. I kinda knew she wouldn't care for that. She didn't. I told her I got 8 good shirts. She asked how much I paid. I told her. She mentioned buying used clothing wasn't a good idea.

I forget what was said afterward in detail. Basically she said she didn't appreciate me sounding pissy, that she'd been excited to hear what I got and that we'd been talking about getting stuff since we'd first met. But to me, she didn't sound excited; she sounded judgmental and huffy, and I (as stupid as it sounds) just wanted to be able to sit back, relax, and talk instead of going through my bags and wincing from moving (i.e. hip thing).

And I fucked up.

I'd come across as pissy, which from what I heard and what she said ruined her mood. She was upset in the going through the motions way. Added to that was her mentioning that I'd just basically finished my shopping with Brian and Tat. I told her--croakingly and perhaps curtly--that I only got two pairs of jeans, several shirts, and that I could use more of those and a belt too. I'd said this to try to illustrate that, while I did some shopping, I'd purposefully saved another half or so to do with her. I'd also thought of mentioning that we could just return what she thought was hideous, but I couldn't remember it.

I could tell by the silence I'd fucked up.

I'd wanted to sit back and rest. Only explanation I have for being pissy was the disapproving toene thing mixed with the vocal inflection in her asking me about the clothes. She didn't sound excited or happy, so I matched the tone I thought she was conveying. I guess I'd tried to come across as 'whatever'.

The conversation ended. A little bit later I texted back with an apology and tried to explain. She told me she was going out and would talk to me later.

I got another message online from, I think, slightly after we hung up. Doesn't seem good.

I feel like shit. It's not that acute stressed feeling. I'm just drained and in pain and I want to slink off somewhere to eat and read.

I see now that she just wanted to share in the experience. I should have tried pushing myself to be more exuberant. I should have had food first or something and then called.

I didn't mean to sound pissy at her. Fuck.

I'm going to try to re-adjustment my hip again and go to someplace close. I don't feel like eating, though. Mostly just laying in bed.

(3 minutes later)

I don't feel up to going out. I'm going to have an asian bowl here and just read.

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