I practiced my 60 minute talk for the area group meeting tomorrow. It'll go fine. After that, I have two weeks to finish my psychoneuroimmunology presentation, and start on my poster for the Hertz session.

Worked a little on the prior results section of my predoctoral NRSA (i.e., it's a fellowship for the NIH). Chris and I settled on the Specific Aims page. I sent him a revised 1st draft of the Background section late yesterday. Tweaks were needed. I may have gone overboard on references. But I'm of the "completely overwhelm your enemy" school of thought. They want scholarship, they get scholarship.

I found out I need to send a form to the IRS. Printed that out. Will do so tomorrow.

This friday, after working on the NRSA and doing some lab stuff, I headed over to Dan's house. Brian and he invited me over for a guy's night out. This was to get back at Meg and Dan's g/f, Katie, who were having a girl's only night.

We:

*Ate cornbread and chili

*Talked shit (will I didn't really, but Dan and Brian have this thing about sex and their mom or something)

*Playing darts

*Playing Risk (it'd been like 13 years)

*Going to a bar for no good reason and having none of us enjoy it much at all. Spotted Cow just isn't a "light the fire in my pants" sort of a beer.

*Watched Goodfellas. Well, I and the bearded friend of a friend who couldn't shut the fuck up during Risk watched it. Brian zonked out and Dan went up to bed partway through.

I made it back to my apartment at 4. Got up at 9 or 10.

Then worked on the NRSA. Brian occasionally makes fun of me asking the government or wealthy old white WASPs and Jews for money. I say I'll eventually hit pay dirt.

There is no way I will be a TA for another 3-4 years. Fuck. That.

Today I went to JC Penny to return the stuff Brian and Tat and I bought. No problems and only one question asked.

I bought a pair of slacks for tomorrow (and in general), 3 pairs of dress socks, and 3 crew socks.

I spent 45 minutes trying to find a pair of slacks in my size. There is next to nothing under 32. I tried on a 32. The belt cinching to make that work ain't happening.

I got a 30 x 30.

It's a flat front classic fit, without those idiotic permanent creases that Dockers have a maligned boner for.

So yeah. 30. Did I actually lose more weight somehow? I think it's just the brand. No, I'm not starving myself, nor does it warrant a comment. I drink soda or fruit juice or soy lattes every day. But apparently I should be guzzling mayo.

I saw a chick tonight who used to be a barista at Indie. She comments every time that I just keep shrinking. This time she hastily added that I look good, though. Almost a good save.

I've been spending time doing muscle toning whatnot. I never would have imagined I'd do or ever want to do such a thing. But there is a good amount of satisfaction to it.

I could take Becky up on going with her to the gym.

I say I'll stick with old-fashioned exercises for now. I'm about as drawn to complication right now as gay men are to Hooters.

I talked with Nick back on friday. He had a moral dilemma involving his cats, which more or less centered on whether he'd need to put them to sleep. I talked about it with him and offered to take them in if need be. I would of course. Dot is skittish, but she's nice, and I adore Bugwee. Not sure if it'll happen or not.

It's good that Nick's work made it into the Cooper anthology. A few other things are lining up for him along those lines too. Steven did some shit that was inexcusable. Phil likewise for an entirely different reason, especially back when I had to listen to him tip-toe around asking me if Nick and Steven were fucking. Bad enough he made me miss a photo shoot last time I was in Detroit. Jackass.

So Nick's doing alright. That made me feel well. I should visit when summer rolls around. I wish I could visit now but free money waits for no one.

At dusk, I stood outside along the shoreline, watching an entire lake of blue-tinged mist float upon quiet waters. One hand on top of an umbrella handle. I marvelled at it. It gave me that far away feeling, and tapped into that web of visions and memories--which always makes me happy.

It's as if a candle suddenly brushed over the real texture of life, rather than the stumbling parley with half-dark passages.

I long for those things so much, but the only place they're at is in my head so far. Same with her, the one that I can see so clearly and yet never fully.

My current life feels rather hollow after I touch the web (though I usually rather like it). So I ended up feeling out of sorts and down for a few hours. Still am, but then I've mostly been 'meh' today.

I should sleep.

previous - next