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I will kick some MD ass if a platonic surgery ain't scheduled soon

2006-05-03 - 10:39 a.m.

The best thing in the world is being mostly done with three pilot animals for your project.

I say mostly done, because, the best thing is having behavioral tests you don't quite know being done.

I say the best thing because bossy supervisors who double as grad students make me nervous and highly irritable. A paradigm is one's child, but while I'm in that SUV knowing its ways, surely I don't have to listen to Spectaco Jesus hymnal renditions while the apocalypse plays outside my passenger window.

Overzealous controls make not a nipple hard. Nor two.

I'd say the worst thing in the world is the expectation that you've forgotten something. A start date for an animal. A testing day. And you--by which I mean my ass--wake up and wonder, "I feel lovely and well-rested. Are my gonads to be handed to me over a heady blend of spinach leaves and arugala?"

My gonads are just fine. All is just fine. I just have this association that whenever I feel well and truly relaxed, something fucktastically awful is waiting to happen. It's uncanny how often the two co-occur, but one does not the other make.

* * *

Today I meet with Chris/Dr. C to talk about some of my stuff and plan some things for the summer. Today I also consult the calendar on my phone, because I'm not quite sure whatever else is on the agenda. Getting my TB reading to confirm I can still work with monkeys (which is a necessary evil we all monkey workers must strive to throw rocks at, with a trot around the Ka'ba afterward).

I've been remiss in being a work fiend.

Last night. From 8 to 12. I sat in a cafe. And felt terribly anxious. For no good reason except for caffeine. Wondering. About things I can't remember...but at least I downloaded more stuff to read for the 1991 survey on memory recall bias and the potential effects of depressive and anxious feelings on said bias. It's a semi-small literature of work. I will snort it and doodle out a manuscript in a timely fashion.

But being more lazy and mindful is not a bad thing. These are the end times of the semester.

* * *

Oh yeah, the NRSA is due today for class. I've re-read it twice on two occasions and it seems groovy. It'll be good to get that in.

* * *

My friend with the ongoing CSF wonkery is doing better. If I had caffeine or amphetamines in me my heart would sing. I wish I could do something more active. I think things'll be ok until the scheduled medical appointment, during which time an MD's testicles will promptly drop to the floor and proper treatment will be scheduled STAT.

The severity demands it. If I were there, I'd goddamn well demand it with a burning lawsuit in one hand and clown make-up in the other.

Goofy law-code ninjitsu should give pause for thought to anyone. So they best be scheduling a surgery date. Or I may schedule an existential surgery date on some medical licenses. Seester (not my sister, but Seester) would back me up on this shit. Or we'd just take out those old-fashioned seltzer bottles and start spraying personnel until we had our way.

I'm unsure exactly what mental mode I'm in. I think it's that space between neutral and drive.

Wait. Push button in. Push handle down.

There.

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