*The three day cold that took a week to completely get over

*The month long case of acute bronchitis that came from the cold

*The medical condition I had last summer coming back, but thankfully receding

And now, apparently, either moderate to severe food poisoning or a giardia infection.

It happened sunday night.

I decided to have a last meal in and prepare what I had in my fridge: tofu with seasoning, some thick-ish noodles, soy, and ginger. I've made it before. It's not good, but it's passable. The only difference this time have been the effects.

On monday I was sore from aches and pains. Whenever I stopped to sit or lay still I suddenly developed a fever. I remember periodically taking breaks in-between short moves of my stuff from Brian's van to the living room area. I'd go upstairs, sit against a body pillow, and just rest, almost fading out of consciousness at some points. I felt like I was in a fevered spell of dying. And on monday night, as I lay in bed, that fever came back. I was extremely hot all over. By the morning that had broken, thankfully.

But there've been other, far worse symptoms since then, so bad that I can't sleep at night. I have never had abdominal cramping this bad. I have never had abdominal bloating. As a guy, though, I can now effectively sympathize more with women. Just those two symptoms fucking suck.

I have eaten a small meal once a day for the last two days. The thought of food makes me slightly nauseous. I've been thinking about just having blended shakes, something that I can just drink without any process of odor or real texture.

I'm on the fence about going to an emergency clinic. The symptoms have stopped for the time being, but they may come back. The pain is mild but semi-chronic depending on the cramping.

I just don't understand. Besides 1 week last summer and having 1-2 colds a year, I've been completely healthy otherwise. And now all of this, back to back. Do I have an ulcer? Stomach cancer? Something else? For the mere prospect of all of these problems somehow being inter-connected, I think it's a good idea to visit a clinic. If anything they'll be able to give me some drugs that'll help. I hate to use up my fake "insurance bucks," but I think not being able to sleep and severe abdominal pain qualify as emergency.

Over the counter stuff is woefully and utterly ineffective.

My own body is taking me prisoner.

It is now apparently by food poisoning or water poisoning or both and an avalanche of stress to go with it:

*An incompetent undergrad who can't follow my directions and wouldn't call me for clarification.

*Another undergrad insisting I change her research grade even though she showed no indepedent intellectual understanding of what she's doing as my assistant.

*Cold War being not at all a team player in getting me documents I need to coordinate my research schedule.

*Completely unexpected personal news for which I need closure on.

*Existential issues I'm not willing to share because they sound partly like madness and partly just imaginative. Suffice it to say something extraphysical keeps intimating there is a purpose to this continued suffering. I am not at all amused. If this is some way of my subconscious or whatever else telling me not to stress out as much, guess the fuck what: it is most assuredly not helping. Leave after-school specials involving medical issues to kids smoking crack.

My body being an issue should not be an issue. I have kept this meat in shape, well-fed, kindof rested on a regular basis, and reasonably in good condition for several years.

It is making an otherwise easy-going summer hellish. And I am fed up with it.

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