I know.

I know.

It's a theme week.

No really, I know and touch the toe-tapping. You want me to update. Or at least amuse you. If the former...

Excuses:

*Been going out on dates at night. 3 this week, a blind date next week.

*Been doing work during the day with occasional lapses of hours I can't account for. I haven't entirely ruled out fugue.

*Been editing photographs. Finally finished current triple photograph blend + digital painting. 3200 x 1800. It's very Lorenna McKennitt. It looks different on different monitors. Way different. Lighting is a pain.

This, however, is merely a distraction:

*Various people have wanted or needed some information or advice with respect to that spiritual shit I sometimes talk about. Bipolar Katie, for instance, is curious about my take on things. One doesn't typically meet other Shamans. She thinks it's odd I don't talk about all that business more. It's not exactly a typical conversation in everyday life:

"My life is so weird! OMG!"

"I occasionally see and communicate with the dead and various extra- and intra-dimensional creatures via mental imagery and emotions, myself. Oh, and I like sleeping in burnt out abandoned buildings because it feels repulsive yet twistedly like home."

"O_O"

That's not going to get my penis into anything.

*Just got off some applications for summer awards.

*Finally submitted the corrected proof for my manuscript.

*Been enjoying the new dual-screen PC at work and the fact it has Office '07. The thing is almost a pleasure to use compared to the circa 2000 shit.

*Reading 60 pages of dense material on the sensory modalities takes time. I'm inclined not to bother with the rest. Only did 50% of the reading for the molecular and cellular class, got an A, meh.

These are some of my excuses.

No, no I haven't.

Yes, Brian keeps dogging me about how's a primary motivating factor in the human way of things.

Maybe, I dunno. I bothered to clean up my areas at the house to make the concept of inviting company over fathomable.

*That is my other excuse. But it only covers an hour.

Alright, here's one of those 'lost' entries. Can't have all of the artists and normal folk thinking I've got a Jones for firearms and body armor...

I am a curious son of a bitch. While I can't consistently be a pinata of excitement and wonder, there's always some new thing or other occupying my time and mind.

Like investments on my big investment.

Explanation:

Lately I've been thinking about the times I'll be going back to Chicago or Detroit, to the run-down areas of chaos and shadow things where I wouldn't bring anyone for fear of their safety. I mean granted I'm willing to risk my life for photographs of abandoned buildings and the occasional corpse, but ain't no other motherfucker I know gonna do that on my watch. Now being that I look white, act white, and will sooner or later be carrying around a 5,000 USD dSLR camera with a lens and filter kit, I can't rely on the good graces of humanity or the stopping power of 3 inch serrated steel knives. I love my babies, but we are talking about an extended presence in high crime areas. This is not round-robin fellatio at Tony Roma's after-hours with our server Uncle Pat.

I have therefore spent hours seeing exactly how para-military Wisconsin and Michigan will let me get. Might I suggest you stop reading this entry right now, as you're not going to be at all happy with the rest of the journal entry. I am quite serious. This is me talking about personal defense equipment in explicit detail for the sake of cataloguing.

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Ok.

May I first state for the record that knife laws in this country are fucked in the ass.

I can legally buy something obscene like a XIX Desert Eagle chambered to a .50 Action Express--clearly capable of punching holes in torsos like no one's business--but I can't open-carry a 14 inch Kukuri knife. So I can blow someone's head off quite literally, but I can't behead them? What the hell?

But I'm not stupid enough to use a .50 caliber handgun. For one, the report is too loud, it requires too much skill to handle quickly, and I don't need something else damaging my hearing.

But I do know just the right model. I've narrowed it down to a used german .45 ACP chambered to a .38 Special. Low recoil, acceptable muzzle flash, 15 rounds/magazine, and relatively easy to conceal in Michigan (where Wisconsin strictly prohibits citizens from concealed carry). Personally I find guns extremely distasteful and dehumanizing, but dealing with a single assailant is unfortunately not likely to happen. I've gotten lucky so far in my encounters.

Second, body protection. I've found a company that sells Grade 3a Israeli body armor for a decently cheap price USD. One can add ceramic plates to the order and upgrade to Grade 3 or Grade 4. I am not thrilled about the loss of mobility from light ceramic plating (Grade 3), but again let's get realistic. Most semi-automatics will be .357 to .40 chambered to a .37 or .38 Special. That is a medium-high caliber that within 21 feet will not feel pretty. I need something that will stop a .44 Magnum M80 (FMJ) at very close range.

While enormously cumbersome, it may be possible to buy an oversized trenchcoat that'll look ok in most sub-standard lighting conditions. It doesn't have to look pretty, it just needs to be functional.

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