Gonna get down to it.

This--no no, I'm serious--this...this is it--I'm serious!--this...is the rest of my vacation. Or at least the wedding ceremony.

Oktakeitaway

I'm serious

Since I needed some review myself, here's the first part and second part. Now that you..four? three? Now that you all are reacquainted:

So sleep and I totally made out for 6 straight hours. After a prompt shower, I waited for Daniel/The Captain to call. We'd hatched a plan whereby we'd have breakfast in his room, then walk with his brother Micah, the world explorer, to go to the barbershop. This man slept long, for he was held close by Xanax. Eventually even that passed and I found myself eating a damned fine meat omlette. He had pancakes or cartesian dualism, I can't quite remember.

Philsophy and egg in our collective stomachs, and later with Micah in tow, we attempted to find this barber place. We'd know it, Micah said, because the guy there was named Carlos. What the hell, I thought. We strolled through downtown Los Angeles, past Starbucks, past hotel fronts and shopping boutiques, past Starbucks, past independent coffee houses, past the bank building we were supposed to go in, then meandered that way and in to the place. You see, way back in the day, buildings downtown often had their own barbershop. Most of them had closed shop, but not Carlos. Carlos, he was famous. 40 years in the biz.

Well you could have fooled me. I'd decided to just get a shave. I tried conveying that I wanted my head shaved as well, but he didn't get that part. Now I've been shaved with a straight razor before, but I'm used to an electric. My skin was not happy. He was not happy that my skin was not happy. "Your skin is very sensitive," he kept telling me in varying ways. As Daniel got shaved and trimmed, his compliment was that, hey, your skin isn't as sensitive as his is. It was one of those 'customers shall occasionally hear this story until I die or retire' sorts of voices. And the shave frankly kinda sucked. But it sucked with Micah's money (given that he was the best man), so no big.

I was jones'ing for coffee. They wished to get back but understood this need, this thing of mine. I foolishly figured we'd pass by someplace somewhere. Madison has a coffee shop literally every 2-3 blocks in any given direction. Google that shit sometime. But not downtown LA.

So we headed back and it was time to get snazzed in our formal wear. We entered in on people in various states of undress. Julia came by for some reason, I think maybe to ask where Acacia's sister Amanda ('Da') was. All I knew was that I'd forgotten for the 15th or 16th time in my life how to tie a full windsor. I improvised, and looked so confident in improvising I was dubbed the tie 'expert' by Carol. I was like...oh...well, k. There was some momentary panic when Micah's tux vest did not match the rest of us. This was not to spec, and Carol had planned every detail months in advance. I'd be pissed. She was, but she let it slide in lieu of the event. There was also the matter of finding Daniel's gold tie to match the brilliant white ensemble he wore. In amidst helping Micah with his own out of a fit of OCD/wanting his tie to be straight for people 40 years in the future (i.e. OCD), we all scrambled to get our shit together. But finally, finally, all was done. I had my camera in pocket. I had my plans in mind.

I had no fucking idea what I was doing. Because I missed rehearsal. But I had instructions.

Somehow a few of us went ahead first. This consisted of walking to the lobby, asking about some props we needed, and then having a guy wheel out--I kid you not--a bundled thatch of willow branches and some other stuff. I decided to carry the willow branches. I wish I could show the photographs, because they do exist, but picture if you will: a bald, svelt gentleman in a 3-piece suit, dressed in black, semi-formal to a T--carrying a 4 foot bundle of willow branches through downtown Los Angeles. The wedding photographer thought it was pimp. I bid farewell to the wedding branches when I finally found Carol or someone who knew that they belonged on the altar. Nice Pagan-ish touch.

Everything prior to the wedding ceremony consists of 3 scenes:

1) All of us getting pictures taken. Allegedly these look beautiful. I took turns smiling, looking out at the skyline, and wondering if we got a pre-wedding snack. The wedding photographer snapped some more of Daniel and Acacia together (since they weren't doing that whole 'no seeing the Bride' deal). They were both dressed entirely in white except Daniel's tie. I have never seen two people look so exceptionally pure and perfect. It was genuinely moving to see them together like that. Knowing them as well as I do, the all white arrangement suited them. Daniel had always been something of a paragon of good, always did the right thing. And while I'd once called Acacia my 'dark angel' 11 years back, no matter how much was going on around her over the years, she'd help you out if you were down--and she got the sassy + very giving thing down, so she was cool on top of being very kind.

2) Sitting in the pre-wedding wedding party fiesta room. This consisted of talking to Jim, Stacy, other people who I entirely forget at this point, and looking out over Los Angeles some more while the sun began to slowly sink like so many incadescent fiery testicles. We grew bored. Yet there was fruit and soft drinks, so at least we were well-fed and bored.

3) The summons. The wedding guests had arrived, the wedding party had conversed and sorta sat about, and finally that wedding planner chick/girl that had to be from Central Casting ushered us forward.

Mira, or Maira, or hereafter 'Gypsy-haired larger woman with sweet disposition that's married to Nathan', was the person I'd escort. (Oh hey, Google is God. It was Andrea. I was way off). She took my elbow. I suddenly realized I was one of the only single man in the wedding party. This amused me. (Further amusement has now been had upon receiving a correction from The Captain on this point; I wasn't THE only single guy there. You two still read this thing? Kudos, man, but I feel slightly embarassed). Anyway, all up and down the row we talked quietly. Micah was calm and smiling, suave in his 'wow, this American culture thing I grew up with is so silly but interesting' way.

I now bring you the multimedia experience which was Daniel and Acacia's wedding. Because frankly I'm getting ROCO on this bitch.

All of the following were taken by the wedding photographer, Jose Villa. NOT by me. If me owned a Canon Eos 1D, who knows what the hell I woulda done.

Ok. First. Music. (After sifting through far too many shitty fan tributes)...

The arrival song was 'The Luckiest' by Ben Folds, played by a violinist and pianist.

The violinist in question. I don't know if they intentionally booked the dorkiest musicians they could find, but man, it was poignant yet funny on a few levels. And do you see those woody things to the left? Those, my friend, are the same willow branches I hefted up 54 stories in an elevator. I'd joked somewhere in all this that we could use 'em to bind Daniel down during the ceremony. People laughed. Yeah, I was the guy to make the 'groom running away' jokes.

On your right, the groom and bride. My two oldest friends. Pictures don't do justice, blah blah blah.

The skyline I looked out over. Yeah, nothing can capture standing over downtown LA at sunset. On your right was part of our dinner set-up. Those blue egg things were delicious. I was partial to the free booze the first hour, myself.

A stack of flowers we didn't eat, one bottle of wine from one of those giant see-through wood cabinets we didn't drink, and the father of the bride. Not up on the menu. But he's a good guy.

Wait? What? Wedding?

Everyone gathered during the ceremony.

See to the right of the groom? 2nd blob in, standing, next to the blob with lots of hair? That blob is me.

We all walked to our appropriate places as you see us. I smiled on and nodded to the Old Goat when he trundled up the aisle. I love the old bastard, and I'd never seen him happier. The music crescendoed as the bride came, looking exquisite. Carol was presiding as the minister in a secular wedding. During the short and lovely ceremony, it was tremendously obvious how deeply and completely in love these two are. As Carol spoke at one point, Acacia said something like "I can't believe I got to you first." And while the vows were exchanged, they asked how much longer the ceremony would go on and if they could kiss yet. The most touching was when Daniel was repeating back the words Carol spoke. I have never heard someone so sincerely and emotionally say what he did; the way he was choking back tears, how his voice floundered; the way I knew that he'd devote his heart and soul to her; a way that changed me and how I view love. She cried and touched his cheek. And all throughout it, I beamed. In a lifetime of seeing marriage after marriage, relationship after relationship rot and die and decay, here was the genuine article. It was the embodiment of hope.

All were triumphant as they kissed, and for a few seconds I think everyone by proxy felt that same sense of unity. And like Elvis, they exited the aisle:

And we, the wedding party, ran straight for the booze. First dibs. Ha ha, suckers.

...

Now I know what you're thinking.

"I'm going to have to wait until APRIL for you to finish? Jesus Christ."

The post-wedding dinner, the drinking, and the, ah, other activities would take too much time right now.

I will try for a non-April conclusion.

I'm serious.

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