I have many scientific manuscripts to keep track of in my head. The design, basic results, which stage of editing by co-authors they're at. Some are ready to be re-re-submitted. Some are finished but need more editing. Some are still in limbo.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are my time away from Emily. While sad on the one hand, it gives me time to focus on doing the above, TAing 25%, and trying to do the below.

I haven't found a post-Ph.D. job yet. I keep meaning to look for more positions, but I haven't cast my net as wide as I should. I'm working on a short application--an application for a post-doc?--for a research center in my home town.

It's almost all too much. If any one thing let up somehow, I could deal better. But everything is in stasis, floating along like dust on the waves of time, no matter how frantically I wave it all to go away.

Drinking moderately helps. It relaxes me. On Tues and Thurs, though, it's just a straight 15 hour grind from 9am to 12am the next day. Yet there's something wonderful about the calm of it all. No colleagues, no girlfriend, no friends, no sunlight, no food, nor the static buzz of the ether during the day.

It's just me and work. I am all nowadays is work. Been that way for awhile. Gonna be that way for even longer.

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