I felt the same way. I tried finding good times and reasons to drive all the way down, but somehow things didn't line up right. Or I figured if I did, I didn't know how to make a long-distance relationship work with school and crappy car and all. Those are excuses, however. I regret it. You're a good woman who's never let constant sorrow get you down. I admire that. I love you and cherish your friendship.

You've been there despite my inaction. I never really figured out how to have a job, a high maintenance girlfriend (who I love, don't get me wrong), a hobby, and occasional time for friends. The last one was too unpredictable. Mostly I've been happy that I let myself drift back into the same pattern. Guess it's like the history of Japan. In Medieval times they opened themselves up to the Portuguese missionaries, then Dutch merchants, and finally threw/murdered most of them out and turned away from their machinations and inventions. I ceased to have the time as equally as I just realized that being popular was great, but ultimately not nearly self-damning and painful enough to satisfy me.

You're the one candle that still flickers at an otherwise silent altar while the wind blows cold outside.

I'd like to really talk too. I know my conversations recently have been dull. Sometime after I've come home, when it's still relatively early (11 or 12), we should try it. During work I'm generally lost on any social graces unless it's an emergency. Either that or I forget to turn my phone on. Actually this weekend might work as well.

I hope things start getting better now for you.

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