Recent Entries Garion born; thinking of doing video logs - 2012-09-01 I'm married, I'm a prospective father, wow I never update - 2012-05-22 Got the job at the NIA; mother complicates wedding plans - 2011-10-13 Scrawl - 2011-08-05 It's never been better - 2011-06-02
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Devastated 2010-03-31 - 3:50 p.m. 
I never expected this particular reversal of fortune. Penn rejected me after 6 weeks of enthusiastically encouraging me to accept their position. There is a minority grant I may be able to get on. I have no pride and I cannot think of the alternative, so I'll do it.They had 4 applicants for 3 slots. I am numbed and shocked. I am devastated. I have been cast into a dark place for reasons I can't fathom. "What can we do for you to come to Penn?" the director's husband asked playfully. The director had said over the phone that they wanted to give me a position even before I went to interview in person. My only immediate concern this morning was how to finish up paper stuff and limit my carbohydrate intake. Now I have no idea if I have a job. I can't stay in Madison another year. I'm ready to move on. This reaches beyond the stars of nightmares to a constellation of knife-edged torment. I am unraveling. I am trying to maintain a brave face. I am emotionally bleeding to death. |
