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Garion born; thinking of doing video logs - 2012-09-01

I'm married, I'm a prospective father, wow I never update - 2012-05-22

Got the job at the NIA; mother complicates wedding plans - 2011-10-13

Scrawl - 2011-08-05

It's never been better - 2011-06-02


<<Autobiography>> <<Cast List>> <<Photography>> <<Donations>>

Well that's another month of waiting for a camera

2010-08-08 - 9:26 p.m.

I tell myself that one more beer and I will transmute my vague threats of productivity.

It is a bad idea.

I am cross and incapable of working on work.

I am left with scribbling summaries for a 6 year old project slowly withering on the teat of our shrinking community.

Or I make my way through Transmetropolitan.

Is there an option C on the chinese take-out menu? Something approximating 'crisis X is happening! Quickly, we need you to be clever!' Still haven't gotten a single blowjob for that work-order.

But really: I already spent that token.

I sent Selene another 2 grand. The Captain inexplicably will not split their tax return. He makes more than twice what I do; him and her are allegedly still friends. God only knows what her current boyfriend makes. God only knows how the 4 grand I already sent doesn't carry a body through 4 months. Guess she came from the upper class, I dunno.

But I am the ghetto philanthropist/sugar daddy/only meaningful means of support for several people.

Do not for a fucking moment call me nice. Or a doormat. Or especially a good friend. Fuck you. Fuck you if you think I do any of this for anyone out of empathy. I fail to understand this pattern of behavior on any level. I can basically excuse unemployment and predatory debt horseshit, because I basically come from (hippie) poor white trash. You try. But this?

You wanna know why I do it?

Boyfriend has kids and no discernible income. By extension, Selene has kids. I'm doing it because everyone has their head too far up their assholes talking to their feelings to be acquainted with reality.

Emotional pain is a luxury good.

Not that I needed all of my savings for anything. It in itself as a concrete fact means little. But unless conveyed properly this shit is just going to ruin my new reputation.

So.

FUCK YOU. Just in case.

I swear to Christ: am I the only adult in this world?

I have a new task: get online and tell my oldest friend that he's a fucking asshole.

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