Recent Entries Garion born; thinking of doing video logs - 2012-09-01 I'm married, I'm a prospective father, wow I never update - 2012-05-22 Got the job at the NIA; mother complicates wedding plans - 2011-10-13 Scrawl - 2011-08-05 It's never been better - 2011-06-02
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Emotional sanity restored 2010-09-27 - 11:57 p.m. 
Emotional sanity restored late yesterday evening. Heart-wrenching misunderstanding. Suddenly turning phone off after coming to devastating assumptive conclusion to deal emotionally without getting clarification = not good. I literally cannot describe the mutual anguish. For me, people have gotten close and pulled away suddenly over the years; I'm used to that; I'm strange and otherworldly; I'm Daath. But the idea that was happening was--I was not prepared for my overwhelming emotional reaction. That has never happened before. Not like that.I haven't hurt someone that badly in a long, long time. It's okay now, but I visualize what she described. I hear it. I remember her eyes when she told me. I will never forget that look. I saw how an act of selfishness can become a chancroid shiv. It was mutual miscommunication, granted, and we established ways for never having that happen again. And things are the same. But. I wanted to write it down and re-experience it, to make sure I'd learned what not to do, but also to think through it...and because I wanted to feel it again to drive home the point to my own self. That said, I should write an update about the past weekend. There was a lot of happy, delightful things that happened. This story needed to be told first. |
