Fast-forward 5 years later, about 1k got knocked off with lots of k's to go.

I finally had enough. I understand that dogs sometimes randomly eat thongs and need thoracic surgery, but it'd been a good 6 months since then.

So I emailed Selene, 2nd old friend of my life, about it. The whole interaction was, well, clinical. She appreciated that the situation was ridiculous, messaged him about it, and stopped shortly thereafter.

So oldest friend in the world promptly responded to a recent email I sent with:

"Hi A-,

That will be fine. What's your current mailing address? I'll have my
bank send you a monthly check."

Just like that.

My oldest friends in the world. Just going through the motions like it's a long-standing social obligation that needs to be met. No "hey how are you?", spontaneous questions, nothing.

This is how I structured my life, I suppose. I haven't made friends like that in a long time. The few I have are so wrapped up in academic life that I never hear from them.

And I wonder, miles down the path I chose, if I could have decided on something else, or ever wanted something else.

I want to ask how life has been, what some recent hardships are, relate my own experiences, one professor to another. But somehow it just doesn't click, doesn't feel right. Like a handshake that has lingered too long.

So old friends get older, life goes on, and we all focus on what is most immediately important.

But that still doesn't make it any less sad.

previous - next