Recent Entries Insomnia nights - 2023-08-19 Taking out the trash - 2022-12-11 Lost at sea - 2022-09-03 Shadow of the man I used to be - 2022-06-28 Life is hell - 2022-05-26
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Waiting 2022-04-22 - 11:44 a.m. 
Waiting to hear back from the academic senate committee about my appeal, where the fucks who fucked me each get 10 days to write a response to my 52-page, 22,000+ word appeal. In the words of one close colleague: "dude, they are so fucked." Yes, they are. Yes, the highest administrator in the land will still deny me tenure because he's been told to do so because of [insert political shit]. Yes, I will sue the shit out of them, get money, and hopefully have moved or be moving to a new institution that isn't a toxic wasteland of "Iowa Nice" mediocrity garbage. Waiting to hear back from Institution A about next steps after 8 interviews, all of which went great. Waiting for a meeting on the 26th to talk with Chair from Institution B about next steps after 9 interviews, all of which went great. STILL waiting for Institution C to respond to me since December 2021, where things were remarkably glowingly positive and then--nothing. Not a word. Not a peep. Institution D I haven't heard from since my second round of interviews ~8 months ago, so I assume the asshole in charge of the unit went for someone else and just won't return my emails. Waiting for my trauma response from dealing with work bullshit to not affect my work output. I literally need to drink just to work now. It is that anxiety-inducing and traumatizing after everything that's happened. Waiting to see if we can somehow make it through July, where literally all my funding runs out and I can't afford to pay my own summer salary and benefits. S got a job, thank God, but it's going to be tight. Drinking like a fish for my mental health doesn't help. Waiting to see if a national news story that will break sometime soon about S will convince my institution to not force me to go back in person to work in August. COVID is real. Getting and giving COVID to S who has a major immunodeficiency is real. The 20-30% chance of death she has from getting COVID is real. There is no good reason for the institution getting rid of remote work options for people in our circumstance. It's cruel and thoughtless. Using the media to shame them into compliance may work. As a last-ditch effort, putting in an ADA request for myself because I'm high risk for COVID complications may work. But ever since the Biden administration brought on some GBD advocates who said everyone has to go back to normal, despite 3,000 deaths a day from COVID, shit has gone south. I hate this fucking timeline. Waiting to see if Birdie's students I took on get fucked during their official evaluations. It's being done by their co-advisor, who is a lecturer, who knows nothing about evaluating students because lecturers don't mentor graduate students. Apparently she'll get in touch with me if she needs to know something, according to the head administrator in their department. What in the fucking fuck. This is the 15th dick in a conga line of ass fucking. I understand fucking with me, but leave my goddamned students alone. Waiting for limbo to stop, swords of Damocles to drop, shoes to fall, and some resolution to ANY of this bullshit. Also waiting on some people to answer their messages. I'm looking at you, R. C'mon. Do it. Do it do it do it. |
