The extremes have shifted again. God/fate/the voices in my head can't make up it's/their minds whether to drive me headlong into a twisting inferno of self-denial and madness..or some meadowy fjord to sip wine with goat-legged drunkards and naked people. I like naked people. I think all of us do in one fashion or another.

Coincidentally, I was butt-naked when I awoke this morning at around 9 again. My alarm is set to 10:30am, but my psyche has some bizarre fascination with this time.

Chemistry was fun, partly due to the fact that the guy sitting next to me is a would-be army doctor with a penchant for war. I'm decent with modern wars, so we strike (stroked?) it up. People looked at us funny, as if describing tactics and missle payloads were taboo subjects in a science building. We ignored them dutifully. I liked the guy's passion.

But no, it was the mutative quality of her that made me Champagne Man. I was moving in to ready my position for furious Euro. history notetaking. Pad poised, hand shaky from last class; fatigued, but steady.

Then she walked by.

I was floored. Strike that, basemented. Here was a young woman with the most incredibly perfect, beautiful smile I've ever had the pleasure of seeing...and I was the recipient of it. 'My God,' I thought. I thought it again.

Scintillating Jade green eyes, an oval face with excellent bone structure, white skin with light brown tanning. She was truly beautiful.

The surface itself moved aside as we struck up a light banter. She was impressed with my comments from last class, so we talked about her interests in college, possible major, etc. A genuinely nice person, so it seems.

Her name is Karen. She's a first year, but that doesn't matter to me. People who actually enjoy my company without feeling fear are few and far between. She's pleasant, thoughtful, and actually seemed to listen to me (maybe I talk too softly and people just nod. I dunno).

I'm meeting her tomorrow to discuss Irish history and literature. I've studied a good bit of celtic mythology and I really like the subject, so we'll have alot to talk about. We may even get to sit down and have a real dinner somewhere.

Here's the part where I say "I know we'll be good friends even if..." I won't bore you; it's trite and we've all been there. The fact that she might find me attractive is dessert enough for my entire week. Anything else is an added and pleasant bonus.

This flies in the face of my vow not to date for a long time, if ever. I'll hold my longings in a paper bag and beat them soundly for awhile...but hey, an opportunity is an opportunity. I'd be a rigid fool otherwise.

So topples the abstract skyscraper of being aloof of the other sex. I cannot ignore a smile like that.

previous - next