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I don't get the obsession

2004-02-08 - 5:39 p.m.

There really is no excuse for what most people over the age of 30 do on the 'net. My mother, for example, is as typically 'net-saavy as most 40 year olds.

She has sat here for the past two or so hours, reading her e-mail. Sometimes aloud. Sometimes commenting on how cute a picture is that one of her friends sent. Sometimes chuckling to herself that an e-mail from "Mailer Demon" was shot down.

To say the least, I don't believe opening your email should extend out to a social experience with others. For example, I couldn't give a good shit about who contacts you, what forwards you have, and especially what those forwards are. I do not receive forwards of joke lists, cute pictures, or charming/heartfelt letters for a goddamn good reason: I am not interested.

Why exactly is it that older people and pre-teens are so fascinated with e-mail forwards? I don't understand the draw. Most of all, I don't understand why you'd want to share it with others. Every time I see that small stack of papers being totted in by mom, or by gran back when I was living at her place, I'd go out of my way to look annoyed. They didn't care. Down on my desk they'd go: St. Peter related horseshit; joke horseshit; huge .gif file horseshit; horseshit every color of the rainbow and some dung-colored hybrid bastards in-between.

I've now put on my headphones, so at least she isn't talking to me about every other e-mail she finds especially amusing. I'm not gonna mince how I feel with metaphors: I just hate that shit.

I'd drive someplace but I can't think of anywhere to drive to. Maybe this is a good opportunity to get started on Max Payne for the Playstation 2. Or perhaps I could read.

----

I'm also giving some heavy thought to emailing Dr. Zivago and telling him I can't make the meeting tomorrow because of an errand I need to run. I don't have an errand, of course. It's just more and more difficult to go to that damned lab meeting week after week, as if it had a purpose. True, sometimes I know things that are going on that Dr. Ziv doesn't, but it's only been this last time that he didn't cut me off and gave me the chance to speak.

I'll give some thought on that count when I don't feel so damned annoyed.

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