* * *

Friday was supposed to be an all out party day. At around 11:30am until 1:00pm or so there was the lab party. I dutifully ate as much dessert as actual food and had virgin margaritas. After that I showed Brandi, one of my new assistants, around the place when she came in.

Right after she left I went to talk with my friend Megan over coffee. Her van wasn't working so no bikes, and no bikes meant no riding to the zoo. It was breezy and warm outside. It was not breezy but pleasant inside. I ordered an iced mocha, happened upon Jamie, a 1st year student who'd been in my PNI class, and yakked about useless crap for a little while until Megan came.

It'd seemed like ages (read: a month or so) since we'd gotten to talking, but talking we did in spades. She mentioned that her housing situations with the horror movie squirrels had gotten better. They'd moved back after being away, true, but they were clawing at the door at night, or launching themselves at her bathroom window. Still barking at her and her girlfriend and roomates whenever they left the house, but hey. Oh, and one had decided to strip her bike seat cover off. Out of spite or necessity is unknown.

We also got to talking about geeky stuff, where somehow I ended up telling her about toying with the idea of hanging out with geeks again. This amounted (and she guessed it before I said it) to trying table-top role-playing games again. On the one hand, I said, I did miss those kinds of people and the community they engender. On the other I wanted to think that I was more socially active and doing more 'real life' things now; that and I didn't have 6 hours a week to sit at a table. Then I realized about mid-sentence that I was being silly and potentially judgmental. Megan also mentioned, helpfully, that the people around here who were into that weren't terribly nerdy. Apparently one of her closest friends (who was sitting behind us with his girlfriend, oddly enough) was a GM/into the scene. That and, like I said, she's familiar with and perhaps into that geeky stuff.

So I yakked about the many weekends at The Game Zone with the 20 to 40-somethings, the LARPing, the random 4 day excursions with people I kinda knew to hang with people I didn't know and the massively interesting/pleasant experiences therein (Marine Corps Irish Megan never did call me, meh).

She seemed amused and intrigued.

After that, as is the want of politically savvy people, we got to the depressing topic of the state of Amerika, the likely future, and then about immigration reform. A sticky topic, actually. Now Megan is far left in general, and I'm left-wing on social issues. However, I was Extremely Far Right-Wing on this issue until recently, actually. Even if (or perhaps because) I grew up in southern California around mexicans most of my young life, I still have no sympathy for anyone who comes here illegally. Our country fucked their countries, true, but my gut reaction is still to build a giant electric fence on the Mexican border (given that we get about 100 illegal Canadians coming in. If it were as bad as Mexico, though--yes--I'd say create 20,000 jobs and build and maintain a giant electric fence). Illegal aliens have drastically lowered wages in low to no skill jobs like meat-packing, and have driven the state aid system of the southwest US into near bankruptcy.

However I did realize that illegal aliens would likely be much less of a drain on public care if Congress leaned on business to assign them minimum wage. Granted, the fruit industry would go ape-shit and several white capitalists would engage in a mouth-froth coup. Essentially you'd shift all the money that, say, I as a tax-payer dole out for people to use the emergency room as their doctor, and make businesses rightfully pay that equal amount so illegals could pay for proper, taxed care and services.

So now I guess I'm moderate. Vaguely.

In any case I mentioned all of this to Megan (without the whole Far Right Wing preamble). We got depressed. She wondered when and if it could get better. I offered that it only will when my country goes down in financial flames.

And that is shortly coming. You cannot float 8 trillion dollars of debt, borrow 2 billion a day from China and Japan, make tax cuts permanent, finance 2 wars, arrange troops for a 3rd war, AND expand the military at the same time.

The dollar is unstable. Iran will shortly begin to open a market where oil is traded in the Euro.

In short, people are apathetic only because their way of life is unaffected. Economic ruin or military tragedy will wake people up nice and quick. We're like irate drunk rednecks as a nation that way.

So yeah, I told her: things will go to shit, then we'll bounce back. That ended things on a positive note, oddly. She then caught a bus...and many hours later I headed for the Cinco de Mayo party.

* * *

The party itself mostly sucked. There was liquor and very good dessert as far as the yard extended. But almost everyone at this thing was a stranger and boring as unstimulated nipples. I tried with the people, but God they were useless. This one bloke in particular was your typical "I go to official grad functions because I have no friends and no real personality" awkward grad guy. I mean this was living milktoast. Only semi-interesting one was a friend of the english post-doc Roz. Her name was Bess, and I didn't care much for her at all, though she had interesting stories about getting a scholarship to stay in Ireland and play the fiddle.

Midway through the party and wondering where the tequila was, I got a call. I then got a message (since I hate answering my phone usually). It was Mom talking in that sad mopey voice, so I knew she was depressed about something. This annoyed the shit out of me. It always does when she gets that way.

Using that partly as an excuse, and for the fact that it had been physically hurting for awhile to stand (?), I decided to leave.

I called Mom. She told me. She was sobbing on the other end through most of it. Being in shock, I tried to soothe her and remained calm. She mentioned the whole episode:

he'd developed a lump under one arm that she thought was related to toxicity. When he smoked or ate bad stuff, it got worse. When he was good, it got better. The doctors had no idea what it was, since you could move it around. Mom pushed Scott to get it looked at, to take him here and there, but he was (as was typical) stubborn about it. It got to be worse, though, to where it became purplish and engorged with blood, hot to the touch. Mom had been making food, he'd been watching golf, and she thought he was snoring off or something. She made food, it was around 10:30pm, and she thought it was odd he hadn't come out. She went in to wake up. She'd thought he was asleep. She was so in shock that, after phoning 911, she performed CPR according to their instructions. He was stiff by that time, though. She didn't notice at first.

A medical professional said there'd been a risk of the clot causing a stroke.

Mike has been comforting her, which is odd considering how much of a reclusive shit he'd been when I lived there before he moved out. Apparently he's gotten a lot better, though. Does sound like it.

Gran had called me later to talk about the situation too. She was calm and unphased as she always is. She mentioned, along with Mom, that Scott had made provisions to his will recently--and apparently left a gray envelope 'in an obvious place' detailing some wishes of his. I guess perhaps he saw it coming. I guess he'd seen his mom whittled away by doctor knives to (unsuccessfully) get out cancer that he didn't want to go through that.

I guess part of me is still angry at him for the potential prospect of not thinking about my mom. I'm stubborn about doing anything anyone tells me that isn't convenient, but a common-law spouse is a common-law spouse.

I should call her tomorrow to see how she is. I'm too tired tonight.

* * *

It may be that, because she doesn't have much tying her to California, Mom might come out here for awhile. I wouldn't mind. Lately I've been incredibly lonely for whatever reason--hence my wanting to get some pets when I move in with Brian. I figure he and others could give them attention during my many 'until the wee hours' cafe study binges.

* * *

I also went on a photography outing last night. Got some decent stuff. Hopefully I'll post it soon.

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