Recent Entries Garion born; thinking of doing video logs - 2012-09-01 I'm married, I'm a prospective father, wow I never update - 2012-05-22 Got the job at the NIA; mother complicates wedding plans - 2011-10-13 Scrawl - 2011-08-05 It's never been better - 2011-06-02
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bit more lucid.. 2001-07-25 - 1:51 a.m. 
Ah, there we go, some conscious semblance of thought...I feel life flowing back into these fingers...still heavy, but I don't know what happened. Prospect of sleeping an hour more tonight because my flight leaves an hour later than I thought.I went to the one place I have roots here. It's this lovely little park that's about 10 minutes walking distance away. I never went there during the day for some odd reason. Didn't matter entirely, it was awe-inspiringly beautiful and peaceful. I kept telling myself I'd visit it frequently, remind myself of what nature was like and indulge in it now and again...but it only seemed to come at odd moments, where I needed it most. I really needed it this night. I was surprised to see another human there, since the place is dead quiet except for the critters in the wetland swamp area down by the foot of the hills. After wandering the length of the place, I saw there were even more people gathered on one of the summits. I paid this little mind and stared out into the hills, focusing on the dim incandescent lights of some far off street lamp and swearing that it flickered like a campfire. Maybe it had been. The wind was moving the trees to the right in a soft pattern, very calming. I just fell into myself and tried to remember what the feeling was like. Perhaps the rest is my own paranoia, but the group of teenagers on top of the hill kept moving from the entrance to the park back to some shaddy areas of it (it's pretty well lit), then back to the summit. I could almost swear at points they were barring me from leaving. I got scared. I sat cross-legged in the far end of one of the fields for a long time, wondering where I could leave otherwise and if I could see anything moving. Finally I just walked out, not seeing anything at all. You see, I forget things very often. The fact that I need to be in places like that park on a semi-regular basis is one of them. I can't describe it for you in terms that make sense: I was so relieved to be there that I couldn't climb one of the hills at first. I flopped down onto the grass and looked up into the sky for awhile. A nice sort of indigo purple, with streaks of white gauze hanging off to the sides. Like part of a collapsed web, almost. I literally felt orgasmic shudders as I just lay there. It was...pleasureful, in a very real nervous system sortof way. I need to go and sleep. I'm quite exhausted all of the sudden. |
