Tomorrow is my big presentation to the government, which should hopefully be painless. I'm using tequila, scenes from furnitureporn.com, and various other maligned artifacts to screw with the reviewers. I figure I'm getting my paycheck and perks already, why not give 'em a thrill to boot?

I can't find anyone to do an honors project with. This sorta sucks, since I want to do research anyway. I'll still be doing stuff with the learning and behavior guy I know..might even get something publishable if I find enough decent results...but my ego needs to be scratched behind the ears, y'know?

Truth be told, I want more work because I could end up having too much free time. That seems so odd, wanting to actually cram my schedule, but with me if I slide a bit...it tends to avalanche effect. I had 7 free hours yesterday. I didn't have that much free time in a week last semester.

Another neurotic fancy: is this place any good? This writing, this diary, I mean. d-landers love attention, but I'm looking at this from a sortof an editor perspective. Sure it's for me, but I like showcasing my style, see what people think. I've seen plenty of diaries that had a huge readership and the ideas were naive and not well written out. Damn near infantile, in fact. For me, this place is partly to see if I have any original thoughts, express anything well.

I'm a scaled down version of a new york beat poet, waiting to get a hand-job from some mucky-muck who thinks I have marketable style. I say scaled down because it's a bloody journal.

I think life is wonderful when you worry about the small, really stupid things too much.

Oh, and I had another one of those extended "why aren't you dating?" conversations. This was with a good friend of mine who did research with me two years ago.

Basically I explained that being transgender is a little like being an exotic adapter plug: sure something fits into you (or you fit into something), but you aren't compatible with most common appliances. There's an AC/DC joke in there somewhere. He tried to tell me there were women who, while engaged in courtship, didn't rip out your heart and include it in their blended protein shake. I think I scared the people next to me when I laughed.

He tried, he's a good kid.

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