If any one of you happen to be this person, could you post-pone for 24 hours or so? I really don't want to stay up all night with this nagging feeling in my head.

In other news, I was a renegade punker/banker who had joined a Crusading Order to kick the bitch asses of major corporations a la the beginning of Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life." If I had to engage corporate executives in a sword duel, it'd have to be Microsoft. MSN fulfills all of the prophetic roles indirectly assigned to it by Revelation. It's the Whore of Babylon, Lucifer, an army of fallen corporate executives, a multi-headed beast of consumptive corporate bloodlust and a partridge in a pear tree. If there's ever going to be another Nazi party, Imperial Empire, or company that censors bouts of live webcast naked street luge, I will know the source and get my whoop ass on.

***The following is tasteless, insensitive, incredibly dirty, sexually explicit, bad for your hygiene, carcinogenic, chauvanistic, biased, hetero-normative and high in calories. May cause birth defects, soreness and dry mouth***

In other news, I have a great new porn site idea. You could get 'luscious lesbians' to seductively pose and erotically contort themselves on and around plush looking, bad-ass tricycles.

I'd call it Dykeswithtrikes.com

Included would be picture set descriptions like:

"Samantha is coming home from work in her new set of wheels"

(woman in white lace bra and panties on a kid-size tricycle, signaling to make a right turn).

"Oh no! Samantha just got rear-ended and she doesn't have insurance!"

(Samantha looking back in utter horror at a woman in a three piece business suit riding on a tricycle, who is getting off the tricycle as if to bitch her out)

"Ahhhh yeah! Two luscious lesbian lovers going at it on top of their hot wheels!!!!!"

(Woman in business suit throat-diving Samantha, erotically caressing Samantha's kneecap as her high-heeled foot rests on a tricycle seat)

"UH OH!! It looks like Officer Mindy Peaks is on the scene and ready for some hot action on her black-trimmed trike!"

And it descends into depravity like water down a septic tank.

And so I descend back into the toilet bowl of academia. I almost feel like the guy in 'Trainspotting' : the toilet seems so shallow, yet descending into it I find myself in the mid-Atlantic...experiencing a dimensional cross-over noone, even I, will ever understand. Yet I will come out of said toilet refreshed, renewed, wet..as if I had been looking for a set of lost car keys, found them, then had a lovely shower in my armani suit with Zest.

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I don't know either and I just wrote it.

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