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A can of biblical whoop-ass vs. the Diet Coke of evil 2002-01-07 - 6:18 p.m. 
Lo, from the darkest pits of infernal Tartarus, forged with the blackest metal and cooled in the blood of an dead ancient god, a sign of the coming antichrist has come before us:
Quake before its unbridled, beastial horror! Repent, for lo "I saw and he was given the key to the shaft of the bottomless pit; he opened the shaft of the bottomless pit, and from the shaft rose smoke...then from the smoke came locusts on the earth, and they were given authority like the authority of scorpions of the earth." (Revelation 9:1-4). Can you not see the locust in the very FORM of this sign, this unholy creature of darkness? Fear those wings, for they shall blanket your souls under a funeral shawl of woe and black bile for a thousand years! This fluttery butterfly comes to you in smoothly rendered contours, but it is false! It is in league with the Devil! Corrupting your mind, your soul, your system! Rise up, friends, rise and renounce its way! Repent! Cast out all demons with your aspersions! Be saved! Be saved! I say unto you all, repent! Repent! . . . Sometimes I get carried away. . . (the MSN logo is a trademark of the Microsoft Service Network, subsidiary of the Microsoft Corporation and is officially displayed at http://hotmail.com. Copyright � 2001 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved. Please, oh pretty pretty please don't sue me with sprinkles and fudge and cherries on top.) |
