The night I wrote this last entry Colleen and I went out to see "A Beautiful Mind" by a local mall of hers. We shopped around a Disney store and several other places for things for her pooka (i.e. Belle, her daughter). The mall was relatively quiet so it wasn't as difficult to listen to her.

I should mention here that a good part of our in-person communication problem lay in the fact that her voice is usually soft and I didn't always hear every syllable, sometimes not even sentences. In noisy places it was bad, especially since I have a tendency to be inwardly focused. Oh hell, I'm bloody absent-minded why hide it.

The movie was fantastic and it helped both of us relax. We then decided to head over to her friend William's place and visit for awhile. The night was beautiful outside, crisp orange lights dotting the hills and occasional waterfront. It made both of us smile. She has the most wonderfully endearing grin, dimples and all.

William is mighty interestin' folk. Colleen and he talked for awhile while I cuddled with his dog Amber. William and I then got into this conversation about Unix and Colleen. I felt very odd objectifying her, since she was sitting right there. It didn't feel right saying anything. We had problems with each other's behavior, but William was being too harsh at points. I kept getting hurt/annoyed vibes from Colleen. I tried saying she was usually wonderful. I think she heard me but it didn't register.

I tried not looking at her but I couldn't help it. She's gorgeous, breath-taking. Besides that she knows how to connect with me, trusted me. Part of me really missed her being near. I had touched her once too often, though, and gave that up because it was making her uncomfortable now. I don't know why I like physical affection so much. It just feels so natural. I think that's why I liked having the dog there.

Eventually she dropped me back off at the hotel. I tried getting some work done but it wouldn't come.

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