Recent Entries Garion born; thinking of doing video logs - 2012-09-01 I'm married, I'm a prospective father, wow I never update - 2012-05-22 Got the job at the NIA; mother complicates wedding plans - 2011-10-13 Scrawl - 2011-08-05 It's never been better - 2011-06-02
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Peaceful 2002-06-10 - 4:21 a.m. 
Inconsequential, protected, care-free. My life has become so different in the last few weeks. A growing part of me doesn't want to go back. Somewhere in the corner of my mind I know I need to work and put this degree to use...but that doesn't really matter right now. For once in a very long time I'm happy, and not just for a few hours but all the time. Any of my own or others' concerns are fleeting, like sad fireworks lost in the open night sky, barely thought on and easily forgotten.I don't know if I can go back to the way I usually live life. It all seems like some horrible dream, some volcanic ashland nightmare with gigantic mushrooms of interest and social thoroughfare scattered here and there. You know, something to bounce on, admire, possibly ingest for a good time. It's strange how we never have just the right amount of time for play and work. I guess you should try to enjoy both, but at what cost? The game I mentioned beforehand is engrossing, breath-takingly vivid to a slightly disquieting level. I'd missed being something else. Let's one think about things differently with sufficient reason, or just let go of reality in general. Everything blurs around the edges but remains distinct, like pieces of change you'll pick up later since they aren't going any place special. In all very little could make me feel happier. It's a lovely, simple nook here. I just need to make sure it doesn't turn into a bog. |
