Recent Entries Garion born; thinking of doing video logs - 2012-09-01 I'm married, I'm a prospective father, wow I never update - 2012-05-22 Got the job at the NIA; mother complicates wedding plans - 2011-10-13 Scrawl - 2011-08-05 It's never been better - 2011-06-02
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I will write this story...I will write this story... 2002-07-01 - 12:19 a.m. 
A writer is his/her own worse enemy. This is a good quality to have. Hating one's work is an equally good quality: it inspires forced objectivity, the ability to edit something to death and counter praise with realism. When you can say you're full of shit and truly mean it, I think that's your greatest starting point.Unfortunately, you need a work to despise first to really make this whole exercise worthwhile. I have these half dozen short stories, starring at me through the screen, from the screen. I have to force myself to write when I don't have an immediate audience. I have to write what seems like crap and charge through it like a black lesbian woman at a Republican fund-raiser. I could go on...I want to go on...but in the end it's me and these stories in the ring, starring at each other. I need to knock one of these bastards out, just to show myself I can...and I can, but then what do I do with the bastard? Tiny excuses blossom love handles and leiderhossen, taunting me. I know I have talent and I have to bloody well finally FINISH a story. I can play starving neglected artist later. For now I need to kick my own ass and make myself suffer. Pain, fear, caffeine, emotional extremism...that's how I got through college. Just need to get it to be routine, like flossing, painful but worthwhile. Wish me luck, you godly beautiful people.
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