I heard the noises again.

Eyes waning down I went back in calmly and scooped out some wet food. He jumped up on a stool next to me. He wanted pats. He wanted attention. If he could have understood it, I'd have said fuck you to thank him.

Reality became pain. I couldn't sleep. The wisdom tooth is this numb pulsating block, like sewage and parafin wax are lodged in my gum. I open my mouth and this dull needle grinds into my cheek. I can feel the ulcerous opening and the liquid. I can't tell if it's spit or blood. I don't care. I just lay on the other side of my face and hope it goes away.

The sound of a hammer on concrete begins. The neighbor's doing heavy yard construction. I turn on my fan to block the noise. It's comforting and familiar but doesn't help. Nothing seems to be helping. I try to give up my eyes and thoughts but they percolate, like brewing coffee, barely moving but enough to keep the pain going. My back has been in knots the past few days. Shifting this way or that it feels like a warped patio board, musty and rotting. I try cracking it back into place. It's as if bile seeped into the deep muscles and sinew, acidic light switches, flipping back and forth in time with my tossing. It's out of place because I need to eat. It's the hypoglycemia. The pain, the thoughts, my body all dulled from low blood sugar. Even the serrated knife in my mouth feels distant. I can't eat, though; dentist's appointment in an hour.

I gave up trying to sleep because of the back pain. I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.

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