While it was great having Mom's headlights working again and going back to Scott's place, its lately been bone-chillingly cold inside. While the living room windows have been replaced, there are huge gaps all around them on the outside. The wind in the gorge has been up and blowing this way pretty hard--along with the first rain storm in a month and a half--so we've gotten a frost-laden draft filling the house like old age. I feel like I've got osteoperosis. Yet, my feet are somehow warm (which is odd, since they're cold and keep me up at night). I've been considering double trenchcoating myself, putting on the wool one and then shuffling into the cashmere. The cashmere one was a very belated christmas gift from Scott.

Besides bitching about it being 40 degrees indoors, Mom and Scott have been snippy again. She decided yesterday to leave for Gran's for no great reason, vomiting what bothered her all the way to near the freeway (where we decided to turn around) and back. Since I needed some meds I'd left at Gran's and I knew I'd score some food, I accompanied her and drove.

I'm used to Mom ranting about shit that bothers her. She's justified usually. Scott's latest fuck-up was not paying attention to her crying and begging. She'd wanted the old windows to be taken out and replaced last, so she could move her plants on the side patio over time. Well, someone talked Scott into doing the windows anyway.

There's now a thin coat of plaster dust everywhere outside, including the dozens of plants on mom's side patio. Scott didn't really apologize when Mom found out. This drove Mom into one of her "I'm so fucking angry I could almost explode" moods, which she indirectly took out on me while I drove. It's an occasional routine. She yelled at thin air as if the person that pissed her off was there. Her mouth and words lashed out like feral dogs. I calmly concentrated on the road as she started ranting, swearing and screaming until she was hoarse and started coughing. I'm used to it, so it only partly bothers me.

I've always hated her lack of emotional control. There's nothing I disrespect more than someone needlessly losing control. At moments I've wanted to slap her for being so childish and hot-tempered, even if the other person was a fuck. There's no need to react so extremely to such common stupidity. If Scott did something stupid about my stuff, for instance, I'd get angry, confront him, make sure he knew what the problem was and take measures so the problem wouldn't happen again. It's not fun to reprimand someone--especially when they're older and thus believe they know better--but it is necessary so that people respect your space and wishes.

Anyway, back to my problems. I haven't heard back from Dr. Zivago over at Mt. Universty. He's usually very punctual about replying to email and it's already tuesday. Someone I know recently tried sending me an email but, somehow, I didn't receive it. Yahoo has impecable timing for routing failures. I'll bide my time and call friday afternoon if I don't get a reply back.

I need to eat soon. I've only had one of those breakfast bar things about three hours ago. Maybe then I'll be able to think more clearly and get to writing again.

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