I worked in the lab from 11 to 5:30.

I tutored Lisa in Hierarchical Linear Modelling from 5:30 to 7:30.

I attempted to get a replacement adaptor for my laptop from 7:30 to 8:30.

I then took a break to have an "I'm an embarassment to my species" moment at Woodman's, where--mid-cart full of groceries--I realized I didn't have a checkbook. I have no debit card for that account for a very complicated reason. And they don't accept credit cards. For the debit card I DO have, I only had 17 bucks on it.

So I stripped down my list to the absolute bare essentials:

*Calamari salad

*Tropical Juice

*Arabic Coffee

Really that's me in a nutshell, if 'me' consisted of eatables and drinks.

I need to go to bed at 10:30pm to wake up at 5:30am to do an MRI on a few subjects.

I need to finish homework for my seminar on wednesday.

I need to read three papers on the molecular biology of the nicotinic acetylcholine receptor and do an assignment for a discussion section on thursday. We normally do nothing on thursday. This prof sucks, even if she seems nice. Seems. Key word.

I need to start and finish a 45 minute talk for next monday by this thursday or friday. So that I can get feedback and don't waltz with two left feet.

I need to hand-process 300 entries and re-assign data to different descriptor categories, then analyze it. This will be done this weekend.

Did I mention that because my laptop adaptor is making sizzling sparking lightshows when I plug it in that I can't use my laptop? I'm getting a new adaptor in 2 days. The Best Buy screen and the dude helping me said so.

I hope you can understand why updating isn't gonna happen soon.

I mean an actual update. This was done because I needed to unwind--even if it was for 10 minutes.

I'm physically tired for the first time in months. Today was a constant series of things to do. Near catastrophes. Cluster fucks crouching low and upside down along the rafters of my life, waiting for the right moment to teeth-fuck my head.

But they didn't get their chance today.

I still think about T every day. Pathetic. I deeply loved the girl, but this is 3 months now. At least I'm not looking at my notes page and e-mail every day anymore. Maybe there's hope for me yet.

Life is incredibly difficult and simultaneously tedious right now. I've had it much worse before, but it's been awhile since it's been this hard. I madly wish to vomit pain or angst or some emotion besides grim determination; I haven't got shit on that count. I have nothing to complain about. I'm just saying life needs to lay off the 'fuck you' sauce it's brazing my ass with.

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