And now, I will get my car interior cleaned, make a 'confirmational' call to Emily, then pick her up at 8 to get my ass kicked at bowling. I should be more excited about this. Actually I should be feeling something other than vague dread. We got along well last time, but I wonder if it was a fluke or what else about myself might come up this time around. Perhaps more disconcerting still is if it continues to go well.

What does one do then?

Though I've dated many girls and women since starting young, I can only think of two other occasions where I did anything that approximated normal dating.

And I've looked online, and basically while there are 50 million 1st date guides and 400,000 2nd date guides, there's little else after that. I am entering the dating hinterlands, and will either notice it's gotten suddenly cold and dark outside and hurry back to the fireside, or I will find myself even more lost than I already feel.

You may well not appreciate how mentally taxing it is to be the guy pursuing the woman. You may snicker, sympathize, or otherwise not care much, but the stress of it is only mildly outweighed by the prospect of enjoying someone's company. It's as if legs were borrowed from a job interview, wings from the skyline, and bodies of aspercream set on fire, not knowing where it's going how and if it will get there.

'Like Tears In Rain' comes more to mind than many. In a sick way, the mentally ill ones were to varying degrees predictable.

But if the pine cones have fangs or the ground beneath is warm, I made my choice and I'll stick by it.

Besides, she's beautiful.

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