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Spooooon!!

2001-11-26 - 6:54 p.m.

Y'know, college work is alot like the weather in South Vietnam: it starts raining, doesn't let up for two months, then suddenly you've got bright, picturesque skies for a few days.

So I go through classes as per the usual routine, but I feel a pair of eyes lurking about somewhere on my shoulder. I turn to the opposite side, scan the room, then in a amusingly subtle way I crane my head around to look at where it's coming from.

Wow. Just...wow. I can't really describe her any other way. She sat there, looking at me with a calm expression. Humans being the scanny types we are, I just assumed I looked mometarily festive, what with the hawaiian shirt and all (I did my laundry yesterday! It's a milestone in hygiene!).

This was not the case. A second passed..two seconds..we were getting into troubled waters, the moment where I know I should do or say something, get the attention of this ravishing woman. To speak, to breathe, gods to smile..something, anything! And then, then, instinct kicked in!!

I turned my head and looked away.

I know better, I placated myself, it was nothing..and even if not, I'm already something else's bitch, a tawdry chew toy that likes to squeak. That still didn't keep me from feeling annoyed with myself.

After classes were over with, I stopped by my prof's office to check out if our research got approved. It's good to go, but he's going to be out this week. We get 2 weeks of testing before finals. We can do the stuff, I just wish we had more time.

And before I forget, I had an epiphany today: I can be my own superhero. Now this is going to sound assinine, but bear with me. I like to imagine sometimes that what I'm doing is more important, or more meaningful than it actually is..I don't know, give it a face that somehow seems grander, more..majestic. The funny thing is, the more I did that, the less I really felt connected to things.

So I decided I'd be my own fantasy, or better yet just be me..figure out what it was that I did which was noteworthy..important. Maybe it's just mood disorder kicking it up to another high, but I honestly feel like I can engage people on my own terms. Maybe it has something to do with worth, I dunno.

In any case, I have no real work tonight. None. Nada..hence the whole sunny day in South Vietnam thingy. I'm going to continue hounding potential employers. I figure I might as well.

I watched someone else blow shit up today, anyway, so my quota is filled.

And to the sea bass (you know who you are, you magnificent bastard)..thanks.

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