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Viking chemistry; no dead dog, but his spirit lives on

2001-12-14 - 3:03 p.m.

Today in my Japanese history class, sensai sama passed around the review sheets for the class. We jotted down remarks for 15 minutes.

The veins in my forehead were doing a rolling action thing. My blood was at a football game and some bastard hadn't gotten sick of doing the wave yet.

Was he going to do it? Had some idiot condemned us to Hell..ok not Hell so much as a pain in the ass that, without liberal applications of cold cream, could be comparable to Hell?

He came back in and examined a picture in the front of the classroom. Apparently an artist couple has decided to get naked and explicit in locations all across campus...and leave a non-revealing, semi-tasteful ass-shot to be remembered by.

He was momentarily confused, then launched into some analogies about a naked man, in a turban with cop glasses, strutting into his class one day and wishing him a good day before walking out.

He then told us we had a surprise 10 question test. The vibe shifted slightly. The bastard at the football game was getting drunk and randy (i.e. strange analogy about lots of blood doing wavy motion thing).

Two questions about obscure things from the class...ok, good, other people had studied already.

Third question: what's my middle name? Someone else got it on an off chance.

More obscure questions about the course...more obscure people answering. Fabulous.

Another weird question: in regards to the founder of the Muromachi shogunate, what was the name of his horse? We even got this one.

Final question: in the Harry Potter movie, who is 'fluffy?' Like indignant lemmings drunk off of moonshine they thrust up their hands.

He then announced we had gotten eight of ten right and, with a triumphant tone, the final was optional.

We burst out into cheering and table smacking for a good 6 minutes. Finally the day had come: no extra final, no heartache during vacation...and yet, no dead dog deus ex machina. I guess he must recycle stories to keep things fresh. Dicenzo sensai is a mortal god, for he has saved my ass and made the bad football man sit the fuck down.

Now there's this group of Viking chemists, right, and they've just found out there's no ale or sheep...

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