I panicked now and again. I just didn't know if I was prepared, if I hadn't studied enough, done enough problems. Science and math are odd that way. I'm so used to knowing everything I need to throw back up in festive new combinations and patterns.

A group of us sat by the stairs. The room had been taken over by two guys who were chatting about how idiotic the engineer who made the place was. The whole "Science Centre" that science classes are held in now is still new and the room had just been unveiled. It was strange, having custodians and lots of old people come by to admire the room. For some reason it makes me remember that Tufts Waterseal commercial where everyone in the town has chairs outside a house, watching some guy paint his house. I mean, when you get old do things like that suddenly seem exciting? Is there some fundamental cord that just snaps one day in your 50's?

The test was laid before us. This was the big moment. Scenes of thousands of warriors charging to wreak carnage upon the enemy, banners flying, drums resounding in my ears. I flipped to the first page; all was silent.

Dearest God.

I studied the first few problems as my mind shook its head in wonder. You, professor, what had you done? This didn't look anything like the final you gave out from last year. You betrayed us again. What was it this year that compelled you to think you could make the tests so much harder than they had been?

As the first hour passed, the first 4 problems started to make some sense..I skipped over them for the most part to the second section. Ah! Familiar reactions and equations! I breezed through it quickly. Some unexpected things here and there, but I had better footing now.

About 2/3's of the class had finished at the two hour mark. I thought to myself, "I'll be the last person to finish the thing, but that doesn't matter. I'm just slow and methodical with these types of problems." So I'm not liquid dynamite with everything, at least I can do well given enough time, right?

At around 10:05pm it was all done with. I had checked over things three times, making sure that I hadn't forgotten any signs or designations for the molecules or compounds. I'm obsessive-compulsive about re-checking my work. I probably missed a few things, but that's acceptable.

I swung down by the psych. building on-campus for a stat. class reunion. We only met during the first 7 weeks of classes and it was mostly an analysis course. We listened to a bunch of old comedy albums while eating chicken pesto pizza and drinking fizzy coke.

It's funny: I'm a hardcore psychology major, but I don't like a single one of the normal psych students. Now I like generalizing as much as the next person, but even so, I'll just say that my reason for being one is different. I'm one of a rare breed in psychology: Biopsychology. I like the idea that you can look at a part of the brain, be it the actual area, the chemicals and fluids that pass through it, whatever..and what it processes in terms of information. Being able to link behavioral tendencies to brain structure is fascinating..it's also not terribly popular at an undergraduate level. There are 14 of us last count. They're all very strange, lucid people; I like 'em.

I need to start studying for my psychophys. quiz tomorrow and the day after that. I don't know if Pinknoise will mind me studying for it while he's here. Hey, Pinknoise, will you mind me studying for it while he's..er...you're here?

So you may be asking...Daath, you not only sound normal but downright boring, you mundane bastard. The muse just isn't with me tonight..and I figure we all needed a break from my acid trips...that and this Christmas break, I just have this odd feeling I'll be seeing (and doing?) some very interesting people and things.

I hope all of you are well. Send me a line sometime, tell me what Christmas is like..Hell, photocopy a picture of your ass or some such and email it to me if you want (see the ship icon on the left over yonder to do so).

And into the contours of night, I whisper a sweet, soft nothing: blar.

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