I went to bed this morning at 12:30. Fighting against my 5 hour sleeping routine, I thought I'd give a shot at 8 hours...y'know, as a treat. Laying there I thought of my career and asshole supervisors, moshing in my head like tweaked punk midgets at a KMFDM concert. They annoyed me, furrowed my brow, tossed me to one side and the other like limp beef. After an hour I thought 'enough of this shit,' gradually letting it all go. Erin and a few other ex's jumped in for a time, but you know how long old news lasts.

Insomnia is like the ruined child you always wanted to help but couldn't. Nuzzling close to you, it alternates between shaking quietly and telling you sad stories to draw you in. So genuine; you can't help but try. The warmth leaves your body, your mind gradually giving in just to give out. At some point you realize you can't do anything for them, that they want ruin but enjoy your company, need your company, gorge on your company. Money, family, trust, days, weeks, years. How much is wasted just passes into memory, like a knife wound or a dream. Beautiful leeches with soft skin, never knowing what they are. So I set fire to them instead...in a sense.

The body can be selfish like that sometimes. I stayed awake all through the night, admiring the darkness behind my eyelids and eventually how dull blue could look against my wall.

My classes seem ranked not only chronologically, but by my level of interest and difficulty. The neurohormone class is first and seems semi-squishy, pleasant, like inflattible spam furniture. Genetics, Evolution, and Ecology looks intriguing but the syllabus reminds me too much of German war propaganda. Finally there's Chemical Principles, where I wonder how anyone can know what happens to a reactions when they add these obscure things to it. Ah well, no class for 48 hours.

I'm going to go buy a book from some guy I met for way less money than he knows what's good for him...then hang with Matt for awhile. I'll study later. Hell, I have all night.

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