I seem to be thinking too quickly today. The past few days have been so revealing and chock full of insight that my mind keeps going with it at full speed. History, social interactions, politics, connections just build on one another.

So many weird contradictions, feelings I had which have changed drastically. I feel fundamentally different...and I think emotionally fulfilled for a change. Maybe it's learning self-forgiveness from others who accept you for what you are. I never appreciated the full power of that Christian ideal until now. I didn't think it'd change things this much.

Even though spring break ends tomorrow I'm not worried about college. The plans for my future sortof lazily swaying in the wind does bother me, but at the same time I think they'll accept me into the lab.

It's funny, learning more about yourself when you pay more attention to the outer world. I suppose if you're looking to throw a severed frog's head across the room to hit a dartboard bullseye, you probably need to see the dartboard first, get a feel for the aim of the head, then let loose and enjoy trial and error.

Well at least my capacity for fucked up analogies hasn't been impacted. I think I can go to dinner rested and assured.

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