Starting at 2:30 this morning I tried to sleep. I kept up this trying thing until 8:30 when I needed to wake up. Not even the Zen exercises helped calm my mind. Ideas, joy, life pulsating like a neon strobe light. I think this is my third day without any REM sleep.

Lesson #1 - Epiphanies boost your metabolism and fuck up your sleep patterns.

Solution: Thorazine

Classes were classes except for a 30 minute medical explanation/Q&A of why men get flacid in general. We also learned how males initiate and can even chemically enhance their "hydrodynamic process." I love my hormones class.

I had the spring break conversation ritual with Matt over lunch. I'm going to go try visiting him after this thermo. exam is gone. I was bitchy but he's used to me in my pre-food state.

Ah but there were more lessons to be learned today. After running a few errands I decided to go and cash this check RedMeridian sent me from our failed Euro-trip fund. As I got out of the mail room I saw Scary Goth Boy, swearing like a sailor left and right as his female friend had one of those anxious "Can I go now?" looks. He looked over at me and he literally stopped then he bounced. The boy bounced and squeaked and said my name. He waved me over frantically. I thought what the hell I'll say hi.

Lesson #2 - Gay men don't squeak and bounce for you expecting only a 5 minute chat.

Solution - Hide.

It happened he had a check to cash too so he asked if he could "stalk" me. I thought fine, I'll make him happy and let him follow me. Riding off my shoulder by about three inches we arrived at the bank. He went around the corner to check his account. In front of me, however, was the incredibly attractive blonde girl from my Ancient Japan course. Many is the time (counting four now) that we've looked at one another for long periods of time. Nervous laughter at starring at one another, purposefully slowing down to maybe get in contact. Maybe now I'd have my chance!

At first I almost immediately said hi and how she was doing...but I thought no, play it low-key. My stalker associate, meanwhile, was hopping up and down and making faces at me through a glass window. Had to concentrate, stay focused. While her back was turned I thought about interrupting...and when she turned to her side I thought about interrupting...and when she stayed there, starring off to the side obviously at me for a full two and a half minutes while I made fleeting eye contact with her I thought about interrupting. And it's funny, when she purposefully waited a minute by the clerk window, walked past me slowly while trying to make eye contact and smiling low...I almost, almost thought about interrupting. I would have run after her like an idiot then, but Scary Goth Boy was by my side and close as ever.

Lesson #3 - When someone is obviously interested in you and they're hot, introduce yourself.

Solution: use words.

The next thing out of his mouth was, "So, where to now?" I tried telling him I had alot of things to do. He gave me a puppy-dog look and we had the "whatever you feel comfortable with makes me happy" chat. Grrrr, still not feeling callous. "Alright," I said, "fine, come on...well, come on." He skipped...he actually skipped and applauded.

5 excuses, 3 stores, and a trek to my room later I finally lied outright to him and said I had a meeting. He asked how long it'd be. I told him awhile. He just stood there and casually said, "I'll wait for you until you get back." Christ. I looked him in the eyes and told him how work was my life. He sighed deeply, occasionally calling me a "fuck bitch," eventually growing bored sauntering out. That done, I went to a review session.

Lesson #4 - When you're not interested in someone who is obviously interested in you, don't play along and for God's sake don't be nice if they persist.

Solution: tell the truth.

Hindsight is a bitch.

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