Recent Entries Garion born; thinking of doing video logs - 2012-09-01 I'm married, I'm a prospective father, wow I never update - 2012-05-22 Got the job at the NIA; mother complicates wedding plans - 2011-10-13 Scrawl - 2011-08-05 It's never been better - 2011-06-02
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Anticipation 2002-04-04 - 12:35 p.m. 
Still haven't heard back from the lab people at UChicago. I've been getting a bad/queasy feeling for awhile. Maybe it's just paranoia. I sent that email a few days ago. Some people I know are starting to get weird again, which means allocating more time to pay attention to/visit them. At least I'm emotionally stable right now.I can't stand it when things don't go right. Sure life is about the failures that brought you to the successes of where you stand now...but I fundamentally lack initiative and creativity when it comes to life. Give me a premise, some constraints, I'll write for you. Some topic, I'll work for you. The whole idea that life is MINE and ONLY mine...I can't fathom that. Maybe that's why family is so important for some people: it's a tangible thing that locks you in somewhere. The youth of today can bitch about needing individuality and creativity...but there's this instability to it all that, by itself, is dangerous. But I am starting to believe that this is my game. Damnit, why won't they contact me and end this creeping anticipation...? |
