Another five days of waiting. Another five days where I could be searching elsewhere. Another five days of constant worry. It all depends on whether someone decides to leave or stay. One person, one single person standing in the way of a position that I am more than qualified for, more than likely more qualified than him/her. Another five days of wallowing in this excretion sodden waiting. WAITING! Patience, she wants, patience she asks for. I have waited for over a month and it could very well get me absolutely nothing.

I was almost tempted to ask who might be leaving so the two of us could...chat. I do not have the time to butter up another staff of people. I do not have the energy to worry about this trasient present AND my future AND a national test that could change everything.

I want to destroy something. Take a large metal crowbar and just keep hacking while sweet rage builds and topples. Over and over, seeing nothing, cares washing away. I think I'd be satisifed, but it's already ebbing. Someone in my way...always someone in my way and I can't do anything but wait. Again.

I will be satisfied, by God. I deserve this much after the living hell I've gone through just to do your work.

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