Just found out today our next chem test is in a week. At first I was confused. 'Wait,' I thought, 'you mean a test in the same class we just had one in two weeks ago?' Yup, that class. 'Motherfucker,' I replied to myself. I've been so caught up in studying for my hormones test that I'd just written it off for another few weeks. Then there's that biology exam on monday...and my labs later this week.

But I'm not pissed off. I feel determined, like this is a challenge somehow {insert positive outlook, lowers blood pressure happy-feely optimism whatnot}. By golly but that sure did the trick.

I've recently developed morning hair. I never had such a thing before. I'd wake up and I wouldn't need to bother. it'd be there, straight and "silky" (i.e. scrawny and thin). it'd be hair. Nowadays it decides to imitate wave patterns from Japanese wall painting. Fortunately short hair = cheap air-conditioning, so there's a trade-off.

Let's see...what else is going wrong in my life...right, jobs. I've got three applications circulating around right now, including the bastard kin at U of Chicago. I've decided to forego patience and ask the person directly if s/he is ever going to make up her fucking mind or what. I'd say waiting three weeks for someone younger than you to make up their mind qualifies as patience, yes? I hope the other offers or the hollow men from MIT decide that I'm a tasty morsel. It really is too bad there isn't a professional equivalent of "go fuck yourself" at my level on the totem pole.

Speaking of things that can go fuck themselves, I've come to the conclusion that loud happy people piss me off. I don't have a problem with people having a good day or even acting a little silly. I'm talking about kids that make noise and bark at each other so everyone else can hear them. From across the street during traffic, next to you in a restaurant, there's usually some group of people...sometimes a flock of middle-aged women at lunch hour, sometimes old people who smile at you too often...but they're out there. I figure we have smoking bans, what about noise pollution? What if this jackass sitting next to me who can't stop laughing about something his dog did to his neighbor's carpet suddenly sends me into a seizure? Is the government prepared to deal with my emotional and mental trauma? Is the insanity plea ready for when I beat him to death with my shoe to stop the excruciating and altogether preventable pain?

So when you go out in public, or even with a gathering of friends, just remember this: happiness kills.

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