Every day it's the same scenario with my mother. Something confuses or upsets her and she quickly loses control, lashing out with a flurry of dramatic sound effects: the rasping cough after raising her voice and occasionally screaming, the pissed off stomping, the door slamming and the silent bile that coats like plaster dust.

The one I hate the most, though, is how I'll ask or tell her something and she'll start stuttering. "And and and and and so so so so so SO?" She'll say in exasperation, throwing up her hands as her face flies open in anger. At those moments I want to smack her hard across the face and yell at her to talk like a normal person. She never did that shit before and it absolutely enrages me.

I'm sick of listening to her and Scott argue over meaningless shit and bills and Scott's brother. Is there one conversation they have where she doesn't get angry? I listen to the shit when I'm cooking, when I'm in the computer room, watching a documentary. They just can't shut up when they start going at it.

So, now you know why I don't raise my voice or argue for fun or for intellectual pissing contests.

I think the final stage to acting like an adult is to be a child, either in all or just a few ways. Isn't that the way of it, having to deal with the incompetence and lack of foresight your parent(s) has/have?

Both of my parents are pathetic. My father was an alcoholic who couldn't pay child support and knocked up some chick with my half-sister over a decade later. And my mother, the shinning example of New Age spirituality and close confidant of many, is in her mid-40's, still makes around 14k USD a year and gets stressed out about "carrying everyone's burden" and "all her shit!" She even admitted to me a few weeks ago that she was a failure up to now.

I didn't say anything.

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