I found this:

"significant happening today: my spirit brother who has been distant for quite some time now has banished me completely from his life citing the reason as my being a coward & immature. I can vouch for the immature part but all I did was teasingly write ... "I got a new (my name) so I'm not bothered by your being distant anymore! HAH!" and he took it as an opportunity to cuss me out. Oh well, things had not been going well between us.. a person can handle only so many friends because a person only has so much time to spend with them and (my name) had been drifting farther and farther away from me. when I would try to talk to him anymore he'd leave suddenly then leave again and again... like he never really heard anything I had to say anymore and I knew he was juggling about 8 IMs with 8 different friends. I signed as 'you know who' because he *should* know who he has and hasn't been distant from. But I don't think he really has a clue about it & he definitely won't come read this in here because he never pays any attention to this diary anymore or to me & I really don't know why he'd still list me as one of his favorite diaries if he banished me for a playful teasing remark that he took dead serious. If he does then I guess this was long over due to happen. We haven't been getting along lately anyways. *And another one bites the dust* )"

Y'know, It's funny. An ex of mine, Laurel, sent a similar kind of playful message once. There's a bit of the story here at the bottom. I can't remember why, but I asked for her address at one point. She had been playfully condescending before, but when she said she wouldn't, something snapped inside me. I immediately sent her a long hateful email explaining how utterly disgusting she was to me. She replied saying that I had hurt her very deeply and she was shocked. To this day some part of me rejoices in beating her at her own game.

I digress. I don't deal well with women humiliating or scorning me, even in jest; it's a bit of a tender spot. Taking everything seriously is just a part-time hobby, really.

Ah well, I have my closure and a comfy bed to share with myself. G'night.

previous - next